The Ocean Moon Flows into Absolute Barrier

Taiwan vacation with a magical touch of Rainie Yang

2010-05-10T23:25:00.008+08:00

Wow, this is the most incredible thing that has happened to me yet.

Taking a long 2 weeks break from Singapore, I　am staying in Taiwan. What seems like another ordinary annual vacation back to the country I am born in, turned out to be very memorable this year.

The days I spend here are rather typical; sleep, awaken from sleep, watch television programs, have breakfast, have lunch, browse the internet, occasionally going out for walks, buying stuff, have dinner, watch more television programs, sleep, etc. Oh, not forgetting the part on visiting relatives.

Well, this year, its special. Really very special. There are 2 points to justify my statement. First, I discovered Taiwan's Largest Anime and Manga Merchandise Store.

How's that! Definitely amazing!

I bought about 15 manga books, and a handful of anime merchandise. ^_^

The next wonderful thing that occurred, can be illustrated with the below photo. Really, its self explanatory..

Okay, that two examples count as point 1. Now for the most important part of my point number 2, ta-daa!

Ahem~!

Its 9th May 2010, Sunday, Mother's Day. Where am I on such a special but not so special day?

I am walking along the streets of Ximen Ding. Aimlessly drifting around without a clear goal in mind. I have been walking for 30 minutes now. The only thought that comes to my mind is the fact that my mindless stroll brought me to a part of Ximen Ding foreign to me. An unknown part of Ximen Ding. Why am I walking on such an unfamiliar road? I do not know. I have skipped my previous schedule of visiting "Animate", and am now wandering aimlessly on an unrecognized street. I should be happily browsing manga and grinning away at myself. But I am not... It almost seems that I am unconsciously convinced that I should be walking on this exact foreign street. Not even questioning myself. There is something at the end of this street, that I am drawn towards. A strong sense of void fills my mind, refusing thought, but just advancing.

The road splits. A dead end? No. Its the rear of a building, a hospital. I stopped, fascinated by the festive mood that floods the small open area in front of the hospital; there is an event. Pop music is being played in the background. I can see the backdrop of a stage that was set up. Who is it? I wondered. The small area less than 50 meters radius from the stage is overflowing with people. I make my way to the front of the stage, as I begin to recognize the singer of the pop song music.

I stopped.

There in front of me, a gigantic advertising backdrop poster overwhelms me.

I see. Thats why its not strange to see such a colossal crowd literally swallowing the event area.

OH MY GOD.

AH MY GODDESS!

Its Rainie Yang. THE RAINIE YANG IN FLESH AND BLOOD SITTING ON STAGE signing autographs for her latest Compilation Album.

I am stunned. I paused for minutes before regaining a clear mind. Gotta..Gotta get that.. gotta get that!

I feel a whirlwind of emotions blow me away. This is impossible! But its happening. It feels like fate brought me to Rainie's Autograph Session just a single day before I end my vacation and return to Singapore. Its FATE! Its destiny! Its just sooo miraculous! Its a miracle! I am looking at Rainie Yang in flesh and blood! She is just sitting there on top of that stage. So near, yet so far away... She looks fabulous, simply gorgeous. She took my breathe away. I've seen her on television countless times, heard her songs on television countless times, but this is just so unique! This feeling that is making me explode in joy. I cannot believe my eyes. I can't take my eyes off her. The radiance she is emitting is unprecedented. I am blown away. Words simply cannot describe her aura, her charm, her beauty.

Thats it. I took out the remaining sum of money that was supposed to last me till the end of today and tomorrow, and got myself a copy of her latest compilation album.
Just the thought of getting her autograph personally in person, up close, makes me smile in jubilation.

All thats left is to get her to personally sign on the album. I approached a staff.

"erm, excuse me, how can I get Rainie's autograph?"

"Well, you gotta queue up, we've given out number tags. We'll call out the numbers, once your number is called, you can approach the stage."

"Where can I get a number tag?"

"We're all out of number tags. Its your lucky day, cuz Rainie will stay here today until every single fan got their album autographed. But you gotta wait until all the numbered fans got theirs autographed."

"Well, thats good news! So, erm, whats the last number you've given out?"

"700."

"What numbered fans are getting their album autographed?"

"150."

"..."

"..."

I look at my watch, its about 4pm. Well, its not like I have anything else to do. Rainie is trying her best too! Having so many albums to sign on.. She must have already been worn out after so many consecutive days of autograph sessions. Thankfully this is her last, and its somehow taking place on Mother's Day. Instead of celebrating with her mother, Rainie is spending her precious time making sure every last fan is happy. How admirable is that.

So I stood there waiting, and waiting, and admiring her beauty at the same time. There were 2 occasions where it drizzled and almost rained.. Astonishingly, it did not.

As time pass, the sun has gone down. And its all dark. 7pm. My whole body is aching.. My back is aching, my waist hurts, I cannot stand straight. The last numbered fan has been called. Its finally going to be my turn to see Rainie up close. She must be exhausted after so many hours of autograph signing. But not once did she allowed her tiredness to show. After so long. She still maintained that cheerful look. She looked as vibrant as ever, even though deep inside, she must be collapsing. I am impressed by her once more. She is such a strong, caring, affectionate young lady, young idol.

Its time. The staff called for those without a number tag. And the lot of us gathered and formed a line. I am starting to get nervous.In just a few moments' time, I will be in front of Rainie, I suddenly feel that there are so many things I want to tell her.

"You've been great!", "Thanks for the hardwork!", "I'll always support you!", "I'm from Singapore! I'm really fortunate to be able to see you today".

I am up on the stage. Rainie and I are just separated by a small table. She looked beautiful up close, so perfect. I am in awe, words were taken away from me.

"Thank you!"

"err.. Thanks."

Those were the only words we exchanged. That is enough to make me grin. Her voice, so sweet, in the most natural form, not from any speaker or microphone, but directly from herself. Not spoken as a part of a song, or to anyone else, but to me. Wow..

She shook my left hand with her left hand. I can feel the touch of her fingers, her palm. So soft, so small, so fragile compared to mine. The magical touch of Rainie Yang. I will never forget that moment. The moment that brought a second of fantasy into reality. She was always so far away, out of my reach, the reach of an ordinary person.She is an idol. Never did the thought of seeing her in person even came close to my imaginations. But this moment, just this moment I am able to see her, exchanged words with her, felt her hand in mine. She is so near, but yet so far away.

I suddenly feel that I can relate to all her fans that have supported her for all these years, sacrificing countless hours waiting, just to see her in person for less than a few seconds, and exchange a word of greeting, a soft handshake, to express how much they love her. Its all worth it. definitely.

She will never remember me, for I am just another one of her countless fans. She will never know me, for I am but an ordinary person of little significance of the World she lives in. But I will forever remember, the special moment that made my heart skip a beat. That split second where she actually sees me, came to know that I exist, even if its just for a split second, that split second she dedicated to me, to sign my name on her album, to look me in the eyes, to shake my hand, to express her gratitude for me, buying her album and supporting her. Such a wonderful moment, a marvelous experience, the magical touch of Rainie Yang.

Surprising...

2010-04-12T23:11:00.002+08:00

へえええええええ！！

久しぶり！！！　いやああああああああ！！！　僕。。。　終。。。自由だあああああああああああああ！！！

軍　から退位　された。。。　いやあああ。。。涙が出そう。。。

でもね。。何と。。。もう一月が立ったんだ。。。

僕も　久しぶり　で　ブログ　書く始めた。

いや・・・　最近ね、　いつも　ふらふら　してた。。。　人生　を　楽しんでいます。　まあああ。。。あの。。英語に戻れます。。。今、ニコニコ　動画　を　見ていた　間　で　書く　していた。。　コメント　が　書きたい　から。。。　日本語で。。まあ。。。上手　でわない　から。。

Hmm.... I was thinking ... Maybe.. I should keep this beautiful little blog updated as much as possible... Looking back... she has kept me company since... wow... thats quite a lot of years now..

I have finally regained my freedom... Now is the HUUUGEEE turning point of my life.. The M-U-L-T-I-P-L-E SPLIT PATH That I have to choose to walk...

What exactly do I want to see myself doing in the future? What exactly do I want to see myself do now? Well, I did something I know deep down inside.. I have always wanted to strive for.. Yes, thats right.. I want to draw.. I want to express myself on paper. I want to create fantasy worlds of magnificent scales. I want to show the world that I am capable of accomplishing great things in this one chance of life I am given.

I am a gamer, I am an artist, I am a musician. I love everything I do. I love people that do their best to strive at what they love to do. My love for everything is so vast.. I know.. I know cannot complete everything with perfection.. But I still want to do EVERYTHING.I know... I am a rogue. In the definition given in .Hack G.U. The rogue class.. he possess the ability to wield a wide variety of weapon classes. He can outmatch any average class in combat. But he can never master any single type of weapon class. A jack of all trades.. But master of none. Like the red mage from Final Fantasy.. Red mages can cast both black and white magic spells. But can never become proficient enough to cast high level spells..

LOL... I ran out of time...

Freedom

2010-02-11T15:05:00.002+08:00

It is within my grasp.

The year that almost seemed impossible to arrive is already the present.
After such a long struggle, light has finally placed her gaze upon me.
But will this beacon of light be my ticket to salvation, or will it burn my
eyes that were so used to darkness and the void?

'Uncertainty' is the word of the month. Alas, I am in doubt.

My Mark

2009-05-20T10:48:00.002+08:00

Lets see... its been pretty long since I last wrote something on this blog. As a matter of fact, its not just this blog. Its been more than half a year since I've written anything anywhere, on paper or computer. Man, my English must have deteriorated. That is something I have lost touch with since I'm forced to commit myself to that 'something-every-man-must-go-through.' All my readers, sorry to have disappointed you. If you still happen to stumble across my quiet little blog, then you must be really lucky.

Well, what do you know? A little longer than a day ago, I was still stuck on an island, stripped of my freedom for 9 days. Now I'm finally free! (Err.. Semi-free... I guess.. until the 2 years deadline arrives...) A lot has happened since I last updated my blog properly.. I just hit my 300 day mark a few days ago. Phew.. So, that meant 65 days have past since 13 March 2009. Gotta keep fighting no matter what!

My mother and brother just left for Taiwan this morning. I took half day leave to see them off. This year will be the only year since God knows how long, that I will not return to Taiwan. Well, at least I have no desire to buy things there anymore, other than their local delicacies.

Since I couldn't make it to the Local Universities... I had been thinking about private Universities. But... After slightly checking them out, I realize I can't can't reserve a place first, like Local Universities... So that means I can only apply for them on the same year I wanted to study.

But I'm still quite unsure of what I am capable of accomplishing.. Despite years of schooling, I have not found a rock-solid area of interest that I am confident in achieving and exceling..

Hours and hours of my free time is spent via gaming.. Is that really the way I should spend my precious time with? If not, what then should I focus on? Thats a hard question indeed.. Especially when time is so precious to me now.. With the constricted freedom I'm experiencing now.. Nonetheless.. I can only see time fly through and space out blindly.. Until I really make a decision.. I'm still stuck in the middle of nowhere..

Ocean Moon: Volume 3

2008-09-20T19:43:00.000+08:00

Hello fellow readers,

With my recent investment on a new console, the XBOX 360, be prepared to enjoy a whole new expanse of video gaming insights and opinions like never before.

This purchase also marks my embarkment on full-fledged console gaming. As of this day, I own every single 7th Generation gaming console there is on the market.Congratulations indeed. (phew.. I almost bled to death just covering the costs of buying them..)

This are strange times indeed, with the seemingly impossible phenomenon becoming reality. The Playstation 2, known for her massive library of RPG games, have been succeeded by Playstation 3; with current library of RPG games(not even decent ones) as pathetic as ..hmm.. one? This is a major disappointment for me, a PS Ex-'fanboy' that choose PS3 over XBOX 360 for the sole existance of Final Fantasy XIII, exclusive, a year ago.

The market indeed, is the largest determinant of Grade AAA game titles. Multi-platforming is the best bet in drawing out the largest revenue possible. Square-Enix knows it best, betraying sony fanboys by making their flagship title "Final Fantasy XIII" go both ways.

Back to the topic, the only decent RPG game I know of on the PS3 is Eternal Sonata: Reprise. Ironically, its an upgraded port from XBOX 360. Ta-daa! Multi-platformed..

While the XBOX 360 on the other hand, having learnt from past mistakes recognizes the gamer audience of the RPG genre and invested a hell of alot of effort into improving the situation from the past generation. With decent RPGs like Blue Dragon, Lost Odyssey, Eternal Sonata, Infinite Undiscovery, Tales of Vesperia, it is almost as if SONY and Microsoft swapped their major-genre focus.

While FPS games are mostly multi-platform, Sony's FPS games have made up the majority of the top-rated PS3 games. Baaad decision sony!! (at least for an avid-RPG gamer)

Now, a little feature story on the latest games I have purchased for my XBOX 360.

Lost Odyssey

This brilliant masterpiece is morphed into life by non other than the Father of Final Fantasy, Hironobu Sakaguchi. Whats more, Music Genius composer Nobuo Uematsu had his hands on the music of Lost Odyssey. With 2 masters like that on the team, nothing could seemingly go wrong.

Tales of Vesperia

The first ever 'tales of' RPG to hit the 360. Bandai Namco definitely shocked everyone when they choose to deploy this gem to the 360 and no where else. Back then, everyone was dead sure that this title will be a PS3 exclusive. But, we were all hit in the face...Famed mangaka Fujishima Kosuke designed the characters. What else can I ask for? (avid Ah! My Goddess fan ^_^)

Ocean Moon Vol. 2

2008-08-31T19:44:00.000+08:00

Hello gamer fans, sorry about the delay. For this article of Ocean Moon, I have decided to touch on the famous NDS sleeper-hit "Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword".

Story

In this game, you continue the story of Master Ninja Ryu Hayabusa in his epic fight against evil. A year has passed since the Dark Dragon Blade incident from Ninja Gaiden(XBOX/PS3). When Ryu finally had time to settle down and rebuild his village, a new evil surfaced and threatened to drag the world into Calamity.

The game begins by introducing a new character, the female ninja Momiji. After her routine ninja sparring with Ryu, Momiji made her way back to the village. Suddenly, a vicious dragon fiend appeared out of no where and attacked Momiji. Overpowered by this fiend, Momiji fell unconscious and was kidnapped.

Thats where Ryu comes in. Back at the village, Ryu was attacked by ninjas from the rival Black Spider Clan. What could this unexpected attack mean? It appeared that the same dragon fiend that attacked Momiji was connected to the Black Spider Clan.

After realizing that Momiji was captured, Ryu set out on his new adventure to save Momiji and uncover the truth about the Black Spider clan.

On his path to Momiji, Ryu will visit many familiar places such as the Vigoorian Monastery and the Underground passages, as part of the illusion created by the dark dragonstones.

These dragonstones hold mysterious power and plays a vital role in Ryu's quest to save Momiji. In the end, Ryu must face off against the greater fiends Ishtaros, Nicchae, and even the dark dragon itself to rescue Momiji, and save the world before bedtime. Tough job for a Ninja, thats for sure.

Concept

The game consists of 13 chapters, each with boss battles to close the chapter. In this game, Ryu will visit many stages that would be familiar for past Ninja Gaiden(XBOX) fans. Only smaller in size, but still beautiful to look at. This game is basically a mini-port of the XBOX Ninja Gaiden. The bosses return with all their former glory, but only a bit easier to beat. The platforming in this game is much more straight-forward as compared to the console versions with a much more simplified control.

Controls

This is where the game truly shines. You hold the DS vertically, with the left screen displaying a map, and the touch-screen is where all the action is. you basically use the touch-screen and the stylus to do everything in this game. To move Ryu, must press on where you want him to be. To attack an enemy, just press your stylus across the enemy and Ryu will unleash his dragon sword on it. jumping and ultimate techniques work in a similar fashion. By holding onto any of the buttons or d-pad, and Ryu will guard enemy attacks with his sword. Tap on the screen while guarding and he will do a side roll.

To activate ninpo, just tap on the icon and trace the symbol that corresponds to the specific ninpo.

The whole experience and fast-paced and amazingly fun. The microphone also comes into play, but only as a minor part in collecting secret items and waking up certain old geezers.

Design

The graphics are simply outstanding. It truly brings out the power of the NDS. The animation is magnificent. The battles flow very smoothly and the controls are incredibly responsive. Mastering the game requires split-second accuracy on the players' part. Dialogues are done with text boxes, with minimal voice acting once in a while to portray the tension and emotion of the characters. i.e. a shriek to depict shock. or a greater fiend's laughter to depict evil. It adds personality to the characters.

The cutscenes are made up of still pictures drawn in an japanese anime style. It reminds me of the classic NES versions of Ninja Gaiden. It brings back memories from the good-old-days, and works miraculously well with the 3D aspects of the game.

Overall, this is an excellent, must-have for all action-adventure gamers that own a DS. Trust me, you won't be disappointed. Don't forget the extra unlockable stuff that will add to the fun!

(Sorry about the rather disorientated and rushed article as I really... wrote it in a rush. I'll try to spend more time doing research and stuff next time. Thanks for reading anyway!)

Ocean Moon Volume 01

2008-06-17T14:28:00.000+08:00

Gaming has taken up a significant part of my life. I’ve been playing video games for as long as I could remember. The first ever game I could remember playing was Super Mario Bros. on the NES. Those were days of good clean fun. No violence, no gore, no explicit content. Well, I’m not saying that the current age is filled with them. Its just a little bit more, in comparison.

Anyway, video gaming has come a long way. The family tree of consoles have spread tremendously in the short span of less than 20 years. Each of her descendants growing ever-more powerful, beautiful, stunning. I am the proud owner of the following consoles, in my chronological order.

-Nintendo Entertainment System
-Sega Genesis
-Gameboy
-Sega Saturn
-Sony Playstation
-Gameboy Advance
-Sony Playstation 2
-Nintendo DS
-Sony PSP
-Sony Playstation 3
-Nintendo Wii

To celebrate the ever-rapidly growing gaming industry, I have decided to become an amateur gaming critic, writing articles about feature games, reviews of games I love, and the favourite TOP lists. Stay tuned for further updates.

Next up, is the TOP 5 NDS games that I own.

For my first article, I am starting with the first ever game console that I purchased with my own money. The hard-earned cash I got from my first ever part time job.

The innovative excellence of the NDS is without equal. Dual Touch Screen Gaming is unprecedented. Shigeru Miyamoto has outdone himself to come up with such a brilliant portable system. It is fun, functional, durable, and affordable. What else could we ask for? Brilliant games come naturally with brilliant systems. Besides the conventional games to surface on the NDS, Nintendo also has a plethora of unique games with unorthodox gameplay elements. This is indeed the Dual Experience, satisfying both conventional hardcore gamers, and casual first-time gamers.

So, here are the TOP 5 List of NDS games that I own, and think that you should too.

5: Animal Crossing: Wild World
This casual slow-but-carefully-paced game is perfect for anyone who just wants to chill. You live in a forest with animal neighbours and basically your goal is to… live. Simple as that. You can spend your free time interacting with the animals, or carrying out recreational activities like home décor, fishing, bug catching, and even star gazing. This game can last you at least a year, because it makes use of the date and time you set into your NDS giving it a pseudo real-time action. When you play at night time, the game really is night time. Also, the seasons change according to the months, giving it a real fun experience. Expect the unexpected in the game. Everyday, there is something different happening, it makes you want to turn on the DS and check out whats going on every now on then. It gets even better with Wi-Fi where you can visit other player’s town and basically just hang around!

4: Bleach DS: The Blade of Fate
The infamous anime series spawns its first VS fighting game on the NDS. The Battle system of this game is pretty impressive; basic combat has a very gentle learning curve while advance players can customize their fighting style with the card system. Mastering it is essential in winning as some effects of the card system can really turn the tide of the battle. Imagine this: spamming ultimate attacks for 10 seconds. You get the point. There is over 20 characters to choose from, each has its own specialty in battle tactics. Be flexible with the cards, and master each character! The game truly shines at Wi-Fi battles, where you can put everything you’ve learned and earned from the AI to the test against other players.

3: Nintendogs: Dachshund and Friends
Pet simulation games never became more successful. The NDS is the perfect system for this game. Ever dreamed of getting a puppy but couldn’t? Wait no longer, because all the responsibilities and liabilities of getting a pup is gone with Nintendogs! It never ages, it never dies, it never drops fur on your carpet! Whats better? You get to feed it, touch it, walk it, and even teach it verbal commands! Don’t need to be shy! Just shout ‘sit!’ at your puppy and watch it do the magic. You can even bring your pup to competitions and watch her make you proud to be a pup owner! No time to take care of her anymore? No worries, theres always the off switch! Just remember to shower and feed it when you care for your pup again, and it will be as good as new!

2: Trauma Center: Under the Knife
Ever dreamed of becoming a doctor? Wait no longer because this surgical masterpiece is here to make you feel like a pro! You get to save people from all sorts of illness; from physical injuries like cuts and broken bones, to viral epidemics! And you do all that at the tip of your stylus! It’s a very interactive game of decent length, very addictive. The story is quite well-written too. There’s never a dull moment. You can feel the tension in the briefing room as you prepare to operate. The difficulty gets racked up more as you proceed, luckily this isn’t real life and you can always re-load that save file and try again. Every operation is graded, so perfectionists, rejoice!

1: Trace Memory
The number one DS game that I own. Trace Memory. An excellent game that makes use of every single feature there is built in the NDS. From the microphone, to the touch screen, and even the fact that NDS has two screens! Figure that out by playing it. It’s a puzzle solving adventure game where you, as Ashley Robbins, explore a deserted island in search of your father. It really makes the saying “short but sweet” very agreeable. The story is really well written as well, with some plot twists scattered around. It is games like this that makes the NDS shine.

My Future Awaits

2008-02-28T22:05:00.000+08:00

My my, what ever shall I do?

All these years of formal education... They feel so, flawed. I feel so unaccomplished! Whoever said our education was good... Well, at least we're good at producing brainless knowledge-suckers that take in whatever is thrown at us.

Although it has part to do with my own fault in personality.(With me being rather shy and anti-social) What can I do? I am lost! The path that was layed out so nicely before has vanished into thin air. After the many years of spoon-feeding, I suddenly realized the freedom I had since I was born.

Impressive indeed. All that I've learned at school (besides the more useful English language and simple mathematics) ain't going to secure me a place at my future workplace.

Even if I hadn't failed to enter a University (wait, I still don't know that outcome yet.. Stupid Cambridge with their slower-than-snail-mail marking of the examination scripts) I wouldn't know where I should go next. I truly lack the confidence and determination to decide my next step.

What ever shall I do? Embrace my dreams is what I usually tell myself and others. "We only live this life once, as ourselves and no one else. So Embrace your dreams! And leave no regrets until the day we enter the endless slumberland."

But I'm not even sure what exactly is my dream!! Is that even a dream? What if its not really a dream. What if thats not what I really want to do? Which of the dreams should I embrace without regrets? Which of the dreams shoud I proceed on first? Do I possess the abilities required to fulfill my dreams? No! I lack the skills! Its too late! I am trailing behind those whom knew their dream head-on. I'm getting old!

I'm not even determined enough to decide which dream of dreams I were to embrace. But nothing is going to change. Only I am able to make myself move forward and embrace that dream of mine. What If I lacked the talents? The people in this world are contradictory worms!! They go around telling people "Hardwork can overcome talents!!" Yea, if I work hard, 'MAYBE' I can succeed. "Look at all the television programmes!! Look at all those successful people that got shown on TV!! SEE THOSE PEOPLE ARE LIVE EXAMPLES OF people that SUCCEED because they WORK HARD ENOUGH!!

Yea, right. What about those countless other people that worked hard but failed in the process? So much for encouragements..

For every success, lies a billion failures.

Other issues and genre like arts and music.. Wow, why did that part of the brain became an exception in the 'WORK HARD' concept? blah blah blah, it takes a genius to create art, that musician's a born genius!! "Not everyone can do art/music! you need TALENTS!!

Everytime we see some amazing artist or musician.. we would unconsciously think/say "wow! he's a genius!! He's got music TALENTS!! nice ARTISTIC SENSE!!

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HARDWORK?? WHY WON'T PEOPLE THINK "wow, he must have put in a lot of hard work and practice to be so good!!" NOOO, all we can hear is 'WOW HE~'S GOT T~A~L~E~N~T~S~, SUCH A G~E~N~I~U~S~!!! SCREW THAT SHIT!

DAMN... Arrgh, I'll type what I intended to type in the next entry.. Good Night.

My Revival

2008-02-26T20:59:00.000+08:00

*Ahem* Okay, its been quite a long time since I have last updated. Been real busy with lots of thing happening. Also, probably because I got kinda lazy, and became obsessed with video games. (Wait, I was always obsessed with that.. nevermind then.)

Well, I thought if I didn't post stuff like this anymore, my writing skills will get really dull. Especially after my Junior College education. All thats left to do, is to wait for that dreaded day to arrive. Right, my enlistment day into the army.. And its approaching really fast. Argh, the sadness and sorrow!! Seeing my friends disappear one after another, into the depths of oblivion as I helplessly await my turn.

Actually, another reason for my revival is because of my idol, Minori Chihara. Yep, she is the voice actor for Yuki Nagato in "The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi". I kept her blog bookmarked for about a year now.. Started to read her blog recently. Amazingly, she updates her blog every single day. OMG, that really impressive!(to me, at least..) I've also noticed her steady climb to the top of the idol/singer/star industry in Japan. Just days ago, she launched her first official Fan Club. 'm.s.s.' stands for "Minori Smile Seasons". Thats such a cute name.

So anyway, going go into my updates for my fellow readers!! (if there were any in the first place... -_-||| maybe I'll put a visitor's counter or something.. to keep track of how many people accidentally trespassed into my site.. lol)

Lets travel back in time, 2007.

So, the General Cambridge Examinations Advanced Level, was a disaster. As predicted, I am utterly lost for words. The worst thing, the results ain't out yet! Holy Heavens!! How much longer are you keeping me from salvation!?

After that, came Christmas. And I got quite a number of unexpected presents. First, my otaku friend/companion Joseph, gave me a christmas present!! Thats a first, for as long as I could remember, no one I knew gave me Christmas presents in the past!! Except my parents, and my brother, in the recent years.

I was surprised, really. Thanks for the present.

Next, if that first present wasn't surprising enough, my brother actually decided to purchase a PLAYSTATION 3. Now thats awesome. With me sharing abit of the financial burden. We bought ourselves a whole new sexy black coated shiny PS3. With 2 games. (Well, that library soon grew to the current 7..)

Now, if that wasn't enough surprises.. fast forward to 2008, February. Lunar New Year. My pops came home after 2 years ( i think.. nevermind..) Guess what.. Every year(except last year..) he would bring back some clothes that he made at the factory for me and my brother. This year was no exception. With the exception of an additional gift.. H.O.L.Y. H.E.A.V.E.N.S.!.!. Did I see a Wii?? Yep, no doubt about it. A Nintendo Wii was sighted sitting on the living room table!! Just after I got out of the toilet.. WOW, its feels better than WoW..

All these wonderful things that's been happening to me lately, as if trying to calm me down before the dam breaks and disaster strikes.. I sense.. the prelude to a Thunderstorm.

Many decisions need to be made. And events need to be endured. All by myself. No one to rely on. Whatever am I going to do, can I really follow my dreams? What exactly is my dreams? What am I capable of doing?

I only live this once, as myself and me, and no one else.

Well, guess I'm gonna stop here. I think I'll make my posts shorter.. and not make my readers get turned off by the loooong posts.. Yea.. Like Minorin's blog, short and sweet. (Except that she's got 100+ comments for every single entry every day.. -_-)

Long Time No Blog..

2007-07-08T00:19:00.000+08:00

wow.. quite a long time since I last blogged.. really busy this year.. dunno why.. got a lot of stuff to do... study la.. cca la... cosplay la...

Yup.. I just went to cosfest vi a few hours ago with my kh2 team.. first ever cosplay experience for me.. quite happy lehz.. hurhur~ but you know hor.. now very late liao.. so maybe i will write more about it next time.. now.. just to 'revive' my blog.. haha... too excited from the event.. can't sleep liao.. met some new faces.. alot of new friends.. but didnt really get to talk and stuff..

oh ya.. this few days.. finally got to meet takashi in person.. interesting.. hurhur... quite different but still the same.. from my impressions of him through his photos... Also met zero.. acktosh.. fatesealer.. the legendary veteran cosplayers that i've read from in the forums. . . ^__^ Yup.. also saw jesuke in person. not seen her since EOY 06.. her cosplaying is still as pro as always.. shippuden uchiha sasuke..really respect her level of cosplay accuracy and the amount of hardwork she put in. i know that if i try hard enough.. and grasp the correct direction to advance.. i will be able to achieve high cosplaying excellence too.

oh.. i took a quiz..

Are you a good boyfriend/girlfriend?
You have a couple love troubles but not many. You understand the needs and the wants out of a relationship. Just work a little bit harder in showing love, respect, honour, and commitment.

'Are you a good boyfriend/girlfriend?' at QuizGalaxy.com

I can sort of feel "The Winds of Change"

2007-04-03T00:11:00.000+08:00

Maybe.. just maybe.. Yet again.. I am pondering over the thought of letting go. Yes, even my female friends are telling me to let go.. Perhaps I should.. The quiet suffering from deep in my heart, screaming to let go. The silent oblivion.. I believe I am not the only one who feels it.

Aye~ the slight cooling breeze forming.. It comes into contact with me. As if she has arrived to take away all my sorrow and shed a new light upon me.

Yes.. no more complicated English.. No more lengthy entries.. No more complications.. Some things are better expressed in the simplest of terms..

~Mein Kampf~

2007-03-27T20:11:00.000+08:00

I realize.. I realize.. I realize.. I realize..

I realized all that I'm doing, is realizing. Enlightenment is but of a mental process. Nothing put into action translates into nothing done.

For the countless times I used the word "realize", none sprout into solid action. All I did was to realize. What I shouldn't have done, I shall not fret over. But what I should do, is what brings my logic into conflict. The path is clear for me to take, what is left for me to do is but to execute it.

Yes, all that would be true if I truly choose to walk upon such a path.

Time and again, I remember of the unbelievable facts which brought me to sough such a path. Purely unacceptable in comparison of the standards that was universally accepted.

Real life factual happenings which I can relate to.. point me to the direction of separation. Such an assumption is forbidden and should not be even hypothesized..

A common ground abandoned, I have no where to stand.

Contradictory thoughts flood my mind and manifest an atmosphere of sadness and sorrow around my vincinity. I am lost, yet again. The same evil plagued me once again. No... the same evil has never left... It was I who choose to ignore its presence and understate the devastation inflicted upon my utopia.

There might not be any significant change of focus.. But I was reminded of the fundamental essences to success: A Common Ground.

The common ground would surely disrupt the core foundations of my mental strut. Plunging myself into a state of mental chaos and depression. For the chances are slim.. to the point of near non-existant. But.. Without such a common ground, any attempt of eternal bonding would shatter.

For now, I can only hope that there is no repetition of mistakes.. And the existance of a common ground.

To end off... I realized... I still need chio bu~~~~

i realized something...

2007-03-14T23:20:00.000+08:00

A New Beginning~ What I told myself to strive for. To let go of the past and embrace the future that holds countless possibilities.

That is something I realized that I can yet achieve. Despite the many weeks that has passed. I realized something very important. Of all the wrong directions that I had been striding. I have finally found the most desired path to take; whether or not I take that path.. is not what I am concerned with. I place my focus on the fact that I have found such a path. An alternative solution. A theorized hypothesis. That alone, is enough to satisfy me. For now, I have uncovered a hidden fact that was there all along.

I cannot give you up. I cannot let go of the past. Simply because My feelings for you are not the past. It is the present that I am experiencing. There is but no past about you that I can let go of. Simply because they are all in this present moment. My feelings for you have yet to fade. No matter what happens, or what doesn't happen, I will never be able to deny the feeling that filled my heart. Those images that filled my thoughts.

I am struggling, against non other than myself. My ideals stay true. My Story shall forever wait for me. I am the determinant of how My Story shall unfold. These little actions, even if they are of no significance, but I still shall make a difference.

My fate is mine to grasp.
My destiny is mine to weave.
My Story is mine to create.

I may not be good enough for you. I might not be able to touch your heart.
But for as long as my soul still resonates to your rhythm, I shall never stop trying.

I am waiting for you...

Late Night,, Early Morning..

2007-03-08T01:53:00.000+08:00

Hmm..Its past midnight.. Almost 2am now.. Guess what I'm doing.. Thats right.. Typing a new entry to my cute little dark bloggie~

Damn.. I'm sooo tired.. I wanna go to sleep.. Guess why can't I do that. Nevermind, I'll tell you anyway.. Its all because this week has been such a freaking busy week.. That I ain't got enough time to do my assignments.. Yea.. Especially for my favourite subject.. ART~!! Damn.. Since when did Art become so... irritating.. There are so many things I need to do.. FAST~!! Gotta get ready my coursework into 8 parts.. and right now I've only got like.. 2 parts... And I am required to hand in all 8 parts this Friday.. Great.. I'm... like.. totally out of time.. Its definitely not gonna be enough time for me to complete all 8 parts by Friday..

On top of that.. I need to hand in my essay corrections tomorrow.. err.. today~!! Basically thats the reason I'm not getting any sleep now.. Because of that lame art essay correctionS~!! I drank a cup of coffee to keep myself awake.. Now, the caffeine(or however you spell it..) is in my system.. my eyes.. do feel tired.. my body do feel tired... but my brain ain't wanna rest yet.. so.. basically it means I can't fall asleep. Wow.. And I'm suddenly having this.. dizziness... man... side-effects.. terrible..

This week is so....unbelievably... nah.. i-dun-wan-to-believe-ably irritating...Monday was fine.. Tuesday was the beginning of the irritation. CCA on tuesday.. started at 6pm because of that suddenly-popped-up economics lecture.. Reached home overall at about 9:15pm.... Tired.. what's worse.. My planned spread of 4 days worth rushing of 8 parts art coursework is foiled.. totally..scrapped.. no time to do that anymore. Whats worse.. someone messaged me late at night on that tuesday(i'm so lost now.. i'm not sure of the date..).. alluva-sudden telling me I need to come up with a design for CCA pamphlet.. by wednesday.. hey~!! Thats.. hmm.. Well.. Arrgh~ the irritation~!! Such short notice... Okay.. I did the design.. at the cost of not doing my art assignment... that lame correction.. and coursework 4-day-plan.. Finished that plain design..at about 12 midnight Tuesday-Wednesday interval..

Wednesday came.. Wow.. initially I thought I could spend the rest of the day after school doing my art corrections.. then make up for my 4-day-plan that I failed to follow.. Suddenly I realized theres a Talk conducted by the different Universities..that i somehow signed up... Whats worse? After the talk.. I still had CCA to attend .. Arrg... my precious time... all gone~! My beautifully planned schedule~!!!!!! All SCRAPPED~!! sianz.. haiz..

Oh.. Today was wednesday.. Reached home at about 6pm plus plus. maybe.. Ate dinner.. After that.. I started working on that pamphlet design version 2.. because version 1 got "rejected". Spent about 2 hours doing that verison 1 upgraded to version 2~!! hey... its 10pm already.. great.. I haven't done any art assignment, corrections, or my scrapped 4-day-plan.. On top of that .. I needed to hand in my essay corrections ..tomorrow.. which is today.. thursday..

Haiz.. no sleep for wednesday.. Drank coffee.. and started doing my art essay correctionS..finally finished at about 1am plus.. thursday.. thats the good thing.. The bad thing.. my 4-day-plan needs to be accomplished in 1 day.. AGAGHAGHAGHEAHG.... WTF is with this WEEK~!!!! I can't even rest on weekends~!!! WTF Saturday.. got..CCA... Some class project trip... and some performance trip... guess what.. all must attend.. and all the timings CLASHES~!! WTF!

Arrgh.. my pimples will appear again.. i need sleep... damn.. SHI~!T

no mood to write anything liao..

Tired sia...

2007-02-22T21:04:00.000+08:00

Wha~ Today damn tired... I overslept today lorz~!! Almost missed that Econs lecture.. MAN~ Arrgh.. Nevermind.. Anyways.. I rushed there.. the lecture already halfway through.. So.. That means I dun really understand what the lecturer was talking about.. Haha~ Aiyahz~ Dun care liaoz.. Dunno why the Econs lessons this year all so BORInG!!!! SIAnZ Man~ Econs wasn't like that last year lorz.. What the Hecks Happened..

Dun CAre Liaoz~ Sian... Got a lot of suddenly-piled up homework.. Got the lame~boring~uninteresting art assignment I must do.. Art corrections.. Art presentation tomorrow.. Which that D. K. just told us yesterday.. Crazy.. Somemore must hand in art coursework materials.. SIANZ~~ OMG!! I got... very little things to hand him.. Damn~ how sia..

Thats only art.. Still got that extremely boring and sleep-inducing General Paper reading articles.. SIANZZZZ I really developed a sense of hatred towards GP... ITs just SOOoo BoriNG~!! Why can't it be more interesting.. Bah~ EveryDAy~ its politics.. EcoNomY~ PolUlation~! DevEloPmenT~~ N. Korea issues~ USA issues.. Tony Blair issues.. Local News..

I'd rather read about shakespeare than GP... Gaming News~~!! The Nintendo dominating the console market with Wii and NDS Lite.. Microsoft's XBOX 360 still lacking behind!! SONY console sales not up to expectations~!! Developers moving away from SONY~!! Thats more InTereSTinG~!! Square-Enix's Final Fantasy XIII gender controversies!! TECMO's DOA:XVB2 region lock errors!! The Elder Scrolls IV:Oblivion coming soon on PS3~!! Costs factors scrapped Square-Enix's decisions to develop Final Fantasy XIII with White Engine.

Man~ that would be my GENERAL PAPER~!! Muahaha

Anyways.. i did a survey~ ^__^

1. Honestly what color is your shirt???
/> blue.. with a strange logo at the centre.. haha..
2. Honestly, whats on your mind?
/> tired.. don't want to do homework.. wanna get a girlfriend..
3. HoneStly, what are you doing right now?
/> listening to a song cum typing this blog entry
5. Honestly, have you ever been in love ?
/> Probably~ But no outcome at all.. All attempts rejected.
6. Honestly, have you done something bad today?
/> not really.. it would probably have been something insignificant.
7. Honestly, do you watch disney channel?
/> nope. i haf but didn't watch.. Don't get to watch tv recently..
8.Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
/> Never made a call today. gt 1 person called mi.. but during lesson.. so nvr pick up..
9.Honestly, are you jealous of somebody right now?
/> This instant..Nope. But generally this time period.. yupz..
10. Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?
/> disturbance.
11. Honestly, do you bite your nails?
/>yes..but not often.. I also bite my skin surrounding the nails too.. XP
12. Honestly, do you use anyone?
/> Use anyone to what? Dun remember..
13. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?
/> this VERY MOMENT.... no strong desire.. But i dunno about 3 seconds later.. XP
15. Honestly, do you have a friend you don't actually like?
/> Yes. xD
17. Honestly, are you in denial?
/> denial of?
19. Honestly, do you love anyone?
/> Yes of coz... i love my ps2.. NDS.. PSP...haha...
20. Honestly, does anyone like you?
/>as friends.. probably.. as boyfriend.. nope..no one confessed to me yet..

DIFFERENT EMOTIONS SURVEY
*Anger Section*
1. What do you do when you're mad?
/> keep quiet , my expression changes..
2. What's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?
/> crash my fists against the concrete wall..
3. Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?
/> i wasnt mad when someone said i made her cry..
4. Do you swear when you r mad?
/> depends..
*Sad Section*
1. When was the last time you really cried?
/>lets see.. dun wanna say it..
2. Ever cried yourself to sleep?
/> cried.. but i couldn't fall asleep.. so i stopped crying .. then fell asleep..
3. Do certain songs make you cry?
/> songs.. nope..
4. What usually makes you cry?
/> i usually don't cry. tried making myself cry.. but that didn't work.. tears stopped after 10 seconds..
*HAPPY*
1. Are you normally a happy person?
/> no...
2. What can make you happy?
/> a gift
3. Does being with your friends make you happy?
/> Sometimes yes.
4. When people say they think you are good looking/pretty, do you get happy?
/> they normally don't mean it...so... nope..

Valentine's Day 2007

2007-02-14T21:45:00.000+08:00

I told myself yesterday that whatever I happens, I will still do it. I don't care what happens.. 14 February is too important a date for me to not overcome all circumstances and go ahead with what I told myself I have gotta DO~!!!!

Yeah~ And Guess what? I kept my promise I made with myself. I did it.

Well, if you readers are anticipating something extreme and interesting in this post.. Think again.. Muahahahaha~

I did it. I told myself yesterday that no matter what happens, no matter how tired I am, no matter how unprepared for the Physics SPA Skill CD tomorrow, I would still take some time out to write an entry in my cute, dark and moody little blog on Valentine's Day.

Yupz, I did it. I'm writing something right now~ ^_^ Hurhur~ Not bad eh~

Too bad for you fans waiting for me to write about another failed confession attempt, or another lovestruck crazy stunt I pulled.. Not today~ Nopez.. Its kinda disappointing for me ,myself.. Life has become dull... recently after my obsession failed.. Every day, I would go to college, attend lessons.. slack at CCAs... Eat with classmates.. And of course, slack at home..

Really.. Nothing happened.. Nothing new at least.. Nothing worth updating my pretty blog. My concentration level in college has been fluctuating.. Sometimes high.. sometimes low.. Rock Bottom Low~

Mehz~ I didn't buy a single thing for anyone today.. Well.. partly because it was too late for me to get anything meaningful.. Something lame did happen today.. I bought a bear chain-like thingy... for my very very very very... arrgh ..just put "very times ten to the power of infinity"...good friend...The Bear itself is... not strange or anything.. but put in this context... its strange indeed... Lame too.. I gave a guy ... (that doesn't act gay at all)... a cute little yellow bear keychain~handphone strap like thing.. Ewwe... sounds wrong..

Bahz~ More impact.. thus will make him remember that gift more.. so that he will be more likely to remember who he got that bear from.. hurhur~ I'm too smart..

Whoa~ Never expected to receive any gifts from anyone.. But my classmates are still kind enough to give me Valentine's Day gifts.. Lotsa sweet things I've got today.. I'm restraining myself from eating them all at once.. Can't afford to gain weight..

Thanks to all the sweeties for the sweets.. Appreciate it.. First time I've received something on Valentine's Day..

Haiz~ In the afternoon.. I had drama rehersal for the performance on Friday.... Nothing much happened.. Other than that .. Nothing today.. Well.. ok.. something more.. I bought myself a manga.. haha.. Vampire Rosario volume 7!!

See...told you nothing much happened.. what a boring entry.. Thats what happens when I try to force myself to write in my blog in a ... average mood.. with no recent happenings that are interesting enough to encrypt in my memories for the long term.. Thus resulting in such a non-constructive entry..

Ha~ I just remembered something that happened today.. Hehe~ I won't want to be forgetting that soon.. my fellow female friend said that I'm better than some guy ... haha~ No mentioning of names.. XP

Oh~ I learned a new word today.. Poisson... it means something.. in French.. yup.. Something.. haha~ my favourite ..Mehz..

Happy Valentine's Day to my readers..
Happy Friendship Day to my friends...(Even though I sensed a discreptancy in the date of Friendship Day ... sources from the internet says its in August.. mehz.. whatever.. my school seems to be celebrating Friendship Day today.. then so be it.. muahahahaha)

Wow~ Thats really boring... I guess thats what happens when I'm forcing myself not to love anyone.. I need someone.. A special someone.. That Special Someone that would remind me the feeling of love again.. Sounds desperate? Nah~ Dun need to ask me if I'm desperate.. I AM~ XP Since the beginning of March 2006.

something.. NOW~

2007-02-06T20:45:00.000+08:00

Ok. I've decided to stop being so freaking EMO~

I've had enough of me feeling sad over some stupid confession that has already become the past. I tried, I failed. SO what? Nothing's what.

I might be typing blunt.. But... Ok well, that confession wasn't stupid at all. And I normally don't go around confessing to people every day.. It was a freaking valuable lesson for me. And Further enforced some of the age-old rules and common sense that I have to realize. It might have been a bit rash. But I'm freaking ain't regretting. That was how I felt. That was what I thought I must do. Heck... Even if I was wrong, there ain't anyone that taught me anything. I tried, I failed, I learned.

Crying over Spilt Milk? I've been doing that for a few weeks already. I even got my cosplay friends... at least ... a friend.. (yeah~ gigi~ that means you ^__^) worried about me... Trying to console me.. Told me to go on.. Things cannot be like this anymore.. I've been EMO~ Now thats enough.. I don't wanna grow old so fast.. I wanna remain young forever. That means I can't afford to be sad or angry..

The confession itself wasn't stupid.. It was the consequence.. My non-Stop EMO~ing that was stupid.. It even got me freaking jealous of my very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very good friend. WTF was I thinking.. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry That I can't even say "I'm Sorry" at your face. You probably didn't even know what the heck happened..

I shall be alright now.. I must be alright now.. I cannot afford to be not alright now.. It would delay everything.. My Life.. This is My Life .. This is My Story... If I stop here.. NO one will be able to get me started again.. I will continue my story.. This is yet the end.

The Death~ A New Beginning

err... hmm..

2007-02-05T18:19:00.000+08:00

Yesterday.. I slept at ...12 midnight... So.. 6 and a half hours of sleep.. Thats definitely not enough for me.. Haiz..

Woke up on time today.. All because I remembered to set my alarm clock in my phone. If not.. Bet I would have woken up at about 7.10am again.. Lawl.. But still.. sooo sleepy? No~ not really.. mehz.. I didn't sleep in any classes today~!! Thats worth some praise.

My emotions are still not completely stable yet.. Man.. What should I do~~ XP

During PE lesson today.. we played floor ball and soccer.. Cool... But thanks to my superb skills at keeping the goal... our team got substituted out ... Mehz.. understand?

Did nothing much during art lesson today.. Kinda slacked all the way.. Lawl.. Thanks to me idea taking a 90 degree turn... From a portrait... into.. a video piece.. But.. Mr. Daniel seemed to like it.. So.. thats fine..

Completed my full rough storyboard.. Super rough sketches.. Need to refine on that.. I can feel that he is not very happy with my sketching skills... Mehz.. Must sketch more.. quantity..and quality..

Otherwise.. Nothing much happened at school..

Today after school.. No one wanted to go out eat lunch.. So.. I just went home.. Kinda disappointed... I wanted to eat lunch with them.. thats the only reason I stayed for Chemistry and Mother Tongue lessons.. IF I knew that there was gonna be no Lunch gathering.. I would have left already..

Reached home.. Ate some instant noodles.. Its cheap... and can fill my stomach..Good food.. Then I did nothing significant until.. like.. 1 hour later.. my fatigue level suddenly rose dramatically.. And I took a nap.. (Hmm.. My entries are becoming typical recounts of past events.. wonder if thats a good thing... Well.. maybe once in a while.. When I feel down.. dun feel like being biased with controversial issues.. )

I woke up at about 6pm.. Went to check my handphone.. It was on silent mode.. Since No body ever calls me.. They don't even message me that often.. mehz.. (I have like.. 500 free sms every month.. how many did I use since I've got the phone last January...? About 1000 sms..What? An average of 83 sms per month? Totally not worth it.. I'm wasting money on a plan that doesn't suit me.. )

As I was saying.. Or typing at least.. I checked my handphone.. IT totally shocked me.. Damn.. 3 missed calls.. 2 from Shang... and 1 from LeoFish.. OMG~~~ I can't believe it.. Normally.. after school, I would change my phone to normal mode.. But I left it in silent today.. Then Guess what HappenED... haiz.. LeoFish blessed me with a call.. And I missed it.. ITs crazy.. I just realized.. every single time she blessed me with a call.. I would totally miss it.. Last year the same thing happened.. Its such a rare occasion that she would call me.. And I totally screwed it. Thats stupid.. I'm sooo... what ever..How many times did she actually tried calling me? Since I knew her... twice.. ANd I missed it.. Totally. (okay.. maybe I know that she called me because my friends persuaded her to... nonetheless.. its better than her not calling me at all.. )

Stop thinking that I'm pathetic while reading this post..

I called shang back... no answer... well.. they called like.. 3 hours ago.... Wonder what he wanted.. so... not my day.. Not my day..

Definitely not my day.. I just realized that there is a math re~test tomorrow.. Damn..

tired sia... haiz..

2007-01-30T23:30:00.000+08:00

Today... woke up late.. then was late for school.. haiz.. dunno why.. tired .. Today had drama practice lor.. stayed in school until 7:30pm... I skipped that boring physics remedial just to go drama practice.. OMG.. what is happening... mehz.. physics is just too boring..

I also messaged Shang lorz.. and called him.. He always like never reply lorz... Probably in a bad mood.. haiz.. Dun be sad for too long lorz!! If not.... I'll also feel sad..

I became the new math rep.. Just like what he told me to.. XP

Haiz. really no mood to make long entries.. Maybe I should change my blogskin again.. It looks nice.. but.. its just too small.. All compressed... very difficult to see... Maybe I'll do that when I have time...

Today after drama.. went to eat with four other drama friends.. When I reached home.. 9 plus liao wor.. haven't do any homework or anything yet lorz.. Somemore feel so tired... Somemore now as I am typing this... its already 12am soon... Hope I don't oversleep again.. surely will lorz.. too tired..

Still must trouble over what to wear for drama tomorrow.. aiyo.. nvm.. just anyhow bring..

Did a survey lorz.. haha.. lets see my results.. ^__^

1. My guy/girl's hair style should be
[M]long
[M]covers ears
[]wavy
[]curly
[]clean cut
[]spike
--> ANYTHING AS LONG AS SHE LOOKS GOOD^^

2.The color of his/her hair should be
[M]black
[M]brown
[ ]pink
[ ]red
[ ]multi-colored

3.He/She should be a/an
[]performer
[M]gamer
[]leader
[]athlete
[]musician
[]honor student
[]prince/princess
--> got talent no talent oso canlahh..hahaha like me also.. dun really haf talent.. XP

4. He/She should be
[M]tall
[M]small
[]5"6 and below in height
--> i dun mind lorz.. normally is the opposite party mind.. T_T haiz.. its not my decision to be taller than the average person..

5. He/she should be
[M]romantic
[M]bad boy/girl
[M]simple
[M]dressed up
[]nerd
[M]shy
[]smart
[]wise
-->shy... i also shy.. what if liddat then no development... coz both too shy XD

6. His/her skin should be
[ ]dark as an african
[ ]mestizo/mestiza
[ ]moreno
[ ]anak araw
[M]tan
[M] fair
--> normal normal arrh... not too dark...

7. He/she should be good in
[]sports
[]math
[]science
[M]art
[M]music
[M]cooking
[]fortune telling
[M]surprises
[]eating

8. My ideal guy/girl 's eyes should be
[ ]big as an owl
[ ]chinito/chinita
[ ]round eyes
[ ]sparkling
[M]none of the above
--> nice eyes can le..small/big.. just nice..

9. the color of his/her eyes should be
[ ]blue
[ ]green
[M]brown
[M]dark brown
[ ]red
[ ]pink
[M]gray
[M]black
-->well..ive never seen any chinese or japanese with other coloured eyes.. unless got coloured contacts...

10. He/she should be
[ ]an atenista
[ ]a lasalita
[ ]a UP student
[ ]Ust
[ ]Povedan
[ ]letranista
[ ]Bedan
[ ]a student in FEU
--> ehz? what....

Sad... Happy?

2007-01-29T20:31:00.000+08:00

Today.. Is the important day for my best best friend. ShangZZz. He will know whether he would be retained.. in JC1 or advanced to JC2..

Sadly.. He retained. Its sad lar.. I was rather stunned when he called me suddenly.. just when ARt lessons ended.

Retained.. for the better? Or worse.. I really have no idea. The School Committe Has decided to give him more time to build on a stronger foundation. Retain...or go Polytechnic.. Its.. up to him.

"I would definitely still wanna be friends with you"

First, it was Xin Er.. then Shan Yong left.. now.. even you...Class would never be the same again. Without you..

Let us both study harder to strive for our goals.

I am also very scared. Because Me and Shang are like... having similar grades.. And same level of foundation... We are both weak in our studies.. We studied together all the time. Stayed back in school until late nights.. Studied for whole days at a HDB Flat void deck tables..

I can say that I just got lucky.. I just somehow.. made a decision at the beginning of the year to take Art instead of Chemistry.. And I just somehow passed my H2 Math Promo paper..

My foundation is still weak to the darkest depths of oblivion.. Waiting, for an angel to descend.. or my inner will to light up.. I might become a private candidate... if I fail to attain my desired results for A levels.. That would be.. worse than retaining.. Somemore.. private candidate very hard to apply for deferment.. so sad..

Anyway.. after school... me and the class went to eat at... Tampines Mall.. Slack there for a while.. eat.. chat abit.. Oh.. Fish also went..

Then we...some went for CCAs.. left.. like.. 8 of us.. went to marcel's house. For absolutely no reason.. I followed.. There.. we played games like.. "Heart Attack".. lawl.. so fun... whack people's hands.. Leo Fish also played lorz.. yay~ But dunno why.. I think I kena whack the most number of times... Even though not the most painful.. Crazy sia.. Jose Whack damn hard... must have been very painful.. luckily I never got whacked by Jose.. But Xin Ee kept on whacking me.. XP StuPId~~!! XD

After the games.. late already.. While walking to the interchange.. we met Wei Cong~!! Whoo~ he came back from Dragon Boat training.. he wanted to buy a birthday present for his mother.. So me and Jose and Shang accompanied him.. We went to Metro and he bought a cup for her. Quite beautiful.. the floral pattern..

Then went home.. Chatted with Shang on the bus... Reached home.. on monitor.. started typing this entry...

Recently I have no mood to type about long and ...rather controversial issues.. sianz.. Coz.. GP is just too boring.. Can really fall asleep.. 1 minute into reading an article.. haiz..

End. Maybe I'll type about some strange points of views or issues next time..

*

2007-01-28T16:28:00.000+08:00

My leg hurts.. it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..

My head hurts.. it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..it hurts.. it hurts..

Memorable Day... DEFINITELY(removed)

2007-01-21T22:21:00.000+08:00

What you are reading here is the remains of an entry which I have written, but decided to remove.

Tired~Confused~

2007-01-19T22:47:00.000+08:00

Wow.. I'm really blogging alot recently.. 2nd time I said that.. Starting to feel rather tired recently.. Alot of things happening lately.. Its driving me to solitude. Damn.. Whatever should I do.. Hehe~ This struggle of mentality is all thanks to my high IQ ^__^ If not, I would just follow my heart.. emotions and act before logical thinking.. Haiz, who can I blame for my rather high IQ? Hurhur~ I won't blame anyone.. In fact, its a blessing~~Who else has such high Intelligence Quotient as me? About 40% of the world's population only XD

Well, its just kinda sad that my high IQ comes at the price of my low/average EQ... And AQ.. Sad.. Just sad.. Mehz.. At least I'm not a retard.. Or.. whatever..

Event log~ Oh... I showed my Art Coursework Idea to Mr. Daniel today.. Well, he said he kinda liked it.. KINDA... means not really.. and.. he didn't seem enthusiastic about it when I presented it to him... He kinda.. had limited and minimal comments to my idea... Thats kinda sad.. But anyways.. I need to refine my idea... Its too complete.. too flawless that there is virtually no room for improvements.. Which is... ironically a bad thing.. Because those geekEE Xxaminers/Markers.. are biased.. They only like ideas that developed along the way.. Refined... modifications every now and then.. So, even if it was a pathetic idea at the beginning.. it would still be an A piece... in the end.. with all the obviously duh~ modifications that made the final product more... Spectacular... Wow... So it means we have to act stupid first.. then slowly show them how great our idea can be... Nope.. Thats too much work for me... When Its a great idea.. Its a great idea.. Flawless... Guess what... the geckozers gave a student that had the same idea a few years ago.. a B grade after all the hardwork he has put in... and another student got A grade.. even though he slacked all the freakin' way.. lousy and boring initial idea.. but added a few DUH~ modifications along the way.. and that was all it is ... to impress the examiners to flash out an A grade.. great... just great... gGekks.. Whatever are those old geezers thinking..

Back to topic~

Well... Rather tired.. and confused.. thats how I've been feeling for the past few days.. Whatever should I do? However should I react.. thats all depended on me.. myself to make my own decisions..Wow.. what a great timing.. there's academic commitments.. social commitments.. etc.. now must I still trouble myself with relationship commitments.. I mean.. I wouldn't mind.. but what about the opposite party? Surely she wun't want to waste her time in An Institute of Education as the Primary Purpose, to get involved in a relationship.. Especially when tis the time where academics are of utmost importance for University application.. ON top of that topping.. She still has work commitments.. Wow~ tough.. Sad.. IMO... But.. I can't do anything about it. Tis her own free will... tis her family background...Tis not something I can just be concerned with.. Unless I am desperately wanting myself to be hated.. Or else, all that about her, should be left alone..

I always feel depressed when the female I love .. Like.. is more capable than me.. This time round.. not just in the fields of academics.. but she is even more mature than I am.. For goodness~sake... Whether she likes it or not.. She's got a job... She can cope with her studies..and she doesn;t complain.. at least I don;t hear her... Mehz.. I never even talked to her on a regular basis..

What am I doing everyday? Staring in front of com.. as if My eyes' conditions are perfect.. Typing blogs so ever recently.. regularly.. Doing things of no major significance... or even minor significance.. I slack whole day.. Great.. I get depressed over trivial matters .. Great.. I became more Gay.. in my desperate attempt to be more sociable.. Great~.. watever.I just want to make more good friends.. Talk to girls more.. nothing more.. Its not like girls are gonna approach me if I pull down my face everyday.. and act mature by keeping quiet.. being alone.. Duh.. They won't approach me. NOpe.. That was what happened last year.. I only talked to Shuang~Er ...because she was in my PW group.. Other than that.. no more... none..

Is that sad or what? I'm no sadist.. I don't desire to be sad.. Its just that.. I've got a feeling that I'm becoming an existentialist... the negative side version..

Whatever the case.. Nothing will begin.. Nothing will change.. Nothing will happen.. If I did nothing.. It all begins with me. I am the trigger of all events that revolve around me. I dictate my own life. I choose what I want to do. If I refuse to do something, no one can force me. (Not like some country overly~obsessed with children and sports..~) So If I don't do anything, nothing will start. But should I do anything.. Is every case a positive one.. Aren't there exceptions where doing nothing is the ideal COA.. I'll never know.. Right now.. I only know that I'm confused and tired. What to do~~

huh....plus something else..

2007-01-17T20:39:00.000+08:00

What the.. LOL~lipop.... What did I do today? I joined a new CCA today... Chinese Drama... Lawl... What am I thinking.. .XD Waa... Thats kinda crazy... I already like... have 2 CCAs.. now this adds up to 3 CCAs... But... all currently no accomplishments 1 lor... join already also dun haf any achievements to write in School Cert...Sianz.. muz write 3 accomplishments .... if not.. that part of my testimony will be blank... XP TOo bad.. can't write.. Achievement.. joined COSPLAY~~!!! lawl...

Want join CCA... might as well go join Interact Club lorz... Better... Coz.. coz lor... XP
But it seems my classmates not interested in interacting..damn sad..

Woot~~~ Saw jesuke sama~~~~ yesterday... on TV.. channel U... sooo .... fortunate... And there was also Sloth.. Takashi.. and Spidey... At first... told myself to remember to watch that show... but yesterday... return home.. 7 pm plus... then started doing GP homework...that lame essay... Then DO untiL 10 Pluz wor~~~~!!! sianZZZ totally forgot about that TV show.. Damn~~ I missed it completely lor.. my fren msged me at 9plus... then I remembered.. but tis already too late.. Damn sad lor... I screamed a bit.. and punched my fist against the stupid wall... Oww.. Quite pain... XP Stupid sia me... I shall not wack myself anymore.. because I need my hands.. to draw ^__^

Great sia~~~ I've finally sort of accomplished one of my Academic Aims for the first half of 2007~!! That is to confirm my coursework idea for A levels Art.. Yay~ Haven't showed Mr. Daniel Yet.. But.. Hehe~~ I'm damn interested in the idea I've thought up of ^__^ Its such a wonderful idea~~ Can't believe I could think of such an idea.. The concept is simple.. But its personal.. personalized.. so.. it reflects myself... and not just any other person can use.. Hurhur~~ Then hor~~ the person... or maybe 2 persons I've choosen to be my subject in my artpiece~~ lawl.. happens to be my 2 favourite~~ gurls~~!!

The reference photo I've choosen for my first subject... OMG.. I love it sooo~ much.. Its now my favourite photo~~ Confirm will use that~~!! XD Just have to show Mr. Daniel and hear what he thinks.. Hurhur.. I'm rather confident~~

Speaking of which... Lawl... Do I need to get permission to use her photo in my artwork... LAwl.. she still dunno anything about me wor.. Dunno if she will be shocked to know I'm planning to make an artwork out of her photo.. hehe.. Hope I can get her permission lorz... if not.. my whole idea.. concept.. all go down the drain.. so sa.d...

The other tentative.. pending subject.. lawl... dun haf a good photo of her lehz.. Quite sad... but.. if confirm also including her... I can ask her to pose for me XP She is very available to me~ HeeXx~~ My classmate marz~~1 Very close to me.. as in.. physically... but not mentally though.. so can ask her permission to take photo very easily..~~ Assuming that she is willing to let me take her picture... and make it into my artwork.....

Otherwise.. hurhur... all the other expected problems can probably solve.. I love my concept lorz... Glad All things turned out the way it is... if not.. I won't be able to think of that great idea.. All thanks to me going to EOY 06, not doing my term 4 coursework of 2006... and not doing my 3 Preliminary ideas for my JC2 art coursework.. Hehe~ And... all the other series of events that got me to where I am~~!!!

Whoa~ Happy Day~

2007-01-16T22:24:00.000+08:00

Today is such a wonderful day~ La la la~ ^__^

I've received yet another very special present from all my friends of 06S16~~ A sketchbook~!! Plus it has got a pretty picture at the front page~!! Hope its not too expensive hor~ But I love it alot~ Gonna bring it where~ever~I~go~

But I scared I will make the sketchbook look old and.. used... haha.. Its filled with lotsa neat memories of you all~ And will continue to be!! As I fill the pages with my emotions and ideas~!! XD

On the first 2 pages... A very special gift I found.. Words of greetings and wishes especially for me. Over the past year, I have done my part and wrote short messages to my friends during their birthday... And now.. its my turn~ To experience such a ... warm and cozy feeling... To realize for the first time... in materialized form.. the manifestation of their emotions all inscribed in my sketch book.. The feeling .. this feeling... is wonderful..

I am truly overjoyed to receive such a blessing from you all...

Especially from you~ My dear..

The Leo standing tall and proud..
Gave me a blessing from above the cloud..
Inscribed in orange ink, this message
I shall remember always, like lineage

My Leo Fish, My Sweet Merlion.... I shall stop being over-obsessed...

She has but wrote a message of goodwill.. like my other friends.

Should I really be more mature...? And stop acting gay? And stop acting cute? I am doing what I did, but to show the world that I'm sociable.. and approachable.. And not pulling a glum long face like I've eaten a sour plum... Too long.. has it been since I have made friends with almost all my classmates.. I fear to lose such a gift.. I must tell myself to open up... talk more... but how? If i talked more mature... the topics...would be boring... Don't act cute too much? are her words... should I listen...? and turn into a standing stone... doing nothing at all... just standing there.. with a solemn face... no signs.. of happiness... Because due to the natural orientation of my mouth.. my lips... I look... grumpy... with a =( face.. even when I'm not angry... If i stop acting cute..I'll just look like a grumpy and tall... teenager.. would you all still approach me... I still remember ... my friends telling me about their first impressions of me... "Very quiet.. cold... not approachable.."

I'm not sure If I'm even a metrosexual... I'm just plain old simple ... heterosexual.. I don't love guys.. I love girls... Cute girls.. pretty girls.. girls like you.. I've developed a special interest of you... out of no where.. out of nothing.. It might not be important to you.. but its how I'm feelings now..

Fine.. I just realized how selfish I am.. typing this out one-sided.....opinion.. I'll stop..

First Team Outing~ Second Cosplayers' Outing ^__^

2007-01-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

Wow~ It seems I've been writing in this blog pretty often lately. Well, I just felt like writing~ ^__^ Just because theres more and more memorable events that I need to keep a record of XD

Had my first KH2 Team outing today~!! Thats cool~!! Got to meet up with my team members for the first time. They are all quite friendly~ XD And~ thats a good thing XP

The six members(Sloth~Sloth'sFren~Shuchi~Ashteyz~Speed_boi~me)(sorry Sloth's fren..forgot your name..) walked around the place... From Bugis... Arab Street... then Chinatown Point~Pan in the Box~!! Oooo~ First time I've been to Pan~!! Quite interesting wor~ that shop!! Maybe can get some accessories or costumes from there in the future. But.. LoL... that place the things quite expensive~!! Hmm.. should just use that as a last resort if can't find any other places. That shop got the costume of Org XIII that we all needed ^__^ But I guess we will be ordering online due to the price concerns.. lol..

Oh.. My Xemnas costume... gonna change from normal Org XIII member to Final Boss Form.. The white and black stripes.. I preferred the all black 1.... T^T but nvm~!! The other 1 still looks fine.. My frens say liddat then can differentiate between the creator of Org XIII(the character, not me.. XP)

Not sure if we would still be able to get my special costume together with the other Org XIII members.. Mehz.. Quite sad must get my costume alone.. But Nvm Again~~ Haha.. Coz I recently found a cosplay shop near my house there, block 400+ ... I took a quick glance that time.. I saw Xemnas' Final Form Costume~~!! Maybe can get mine customized there or something.. ^__^

After Pan, we went to chill out at Coffee Beans(or was it starbucks...) Sat there for quite a while.. After that ...We took MRT home...

Managed to get the gloves for the costume today^__^ at Beach Road~ cool... not bad wor... 4.50 only .. the visually identical gloves I saw at Metro costs 45... thats.. 10 times... lol.. Too bad couldn't find the boots... Not high enough.. XP

Well.. Probably gonna order my wig from Decadence's Shop tmr or something. ^__^ Before I spent all my money ... better buy things that concerns my cosplay experience~!!

Quite sad lor... First and last year I'll cosplay... Until after NS... Hope during NS also can cosplay.. But probably can't join any teams... Coz too many unknown factors... Scared join liaoz suddenly cannot book out.. then sad lor.. can't go the events..

Sad sad... Not sure if I wanna join any EOY 07 teams... A Levels lor.. Haiz.. Must concentrate more on my studies.. 08...09... got NS.. T^T XP Maybe can create Ikkaku Team during my 2 years of NS.. XP .. All skin-head... no hair.. sad. . XP Whole army platoon join Cosplay~~!! The Ikkaku Team for Cosfest and EOY 08-09~!!

Mehz.. See how.... End...

W00t... watever that means...lawl

2007-01-12T21:13:00.000+08:00

Wow.. Today very surprising~ first thing woke up... received a sms from Alvin wor~!! (Alvin Foong~ not alvin tan lawl...) he wished me Happy Birthday~ ^__^ Waa... so nice lehz~ never expected to receive any greetings... Hehe~ Alvin so caring XDXD Thanks hor~

Second unexpected thing... alluva sudden in school~ after my class went for chemistry lesson..( and i alone went for art lesson.. )... after the lesson hor... suddenly all my classmates started to wish me happy birthday~!! Waa... sooo... magical~ ^__^

Shook hands with many of my classmates XD ... hehe.. probably the most handshakes in 1 day since.... i dun remember... haha.. means never shake so many hands before~

I also shook hands with her wor~~~ haha~ happy happy~ XD but probably the first and last time also.. lawl.. so sad.. ehz.. dun wanna remember sad things~!!!

My classmates even got me birthday presents~!! OMG~~~ how many years has it been!! Since I received birthday presents from my friends! Damn touched lor~ Very Grateful~ Very Grateful~ ( got an unbelievably huge pencil case and a wrist-strap accessory~ ^__^ Shang Yong say he choose 1 hor~ coool XD)

haiz~ my blood parrot (direct translation XP) not feelings well recently lehz... make me feel...uneasy larz... LoL.. Hope she can get well soon~ can swim around more healthy looking.. must eat more HOR~~~~ she always eat very little or never eat at all lorZ!! haiz.. But.. how to stimulate her to eat.. LawL... if she can eat like my patches and Zai~z liddat then i wun worry so much...

Hmm.. okies~ cannot write depressing stuff~ end off entry~

Happy Birthday to me~ 18 years old... my wish this year.. hehe..

G** a G********* w** l**** m* a* m*** a* I l*** h** ~~~ hehe... cannot type out literally~ scared XP

and something additional for that someone~

W*** t*** L*** l*** a h**** a** h****** l***

LoL.. so luan... I myself might not understand what I typed.. XD

K~ end end~

Happy Birthday to me~

2007-01-12T00:08:00.000+08:00

Currently... is Singapore time.. the just past 12am midnight~!! 12 January 2007~Happy Birthday to me~!! 18 years old now... even though its abit depressing that I'm older liaoz... Dun feel like growing up and becoming adult... haiz.. want to stay as 16 years old forever~ lol.. but too bad that can't happen..

Let me type me a song~

Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me.

Happy Birthday to Jesuke-sama's FaN~/Me/Mao/Mark/Black Bell~~~
Happy Birthday to me~!!

Yay~!!

Must go sleep liaoz.. if not.. can't wake up tomorrow... Haha..

School Re-opens!! A New Sad Life Begins~

2007-01-03T20:36:00.000+08:00

Well well, Today is the first day of school since November last year. Officially, at least.. Had to visit the J. College several times during the holidays due to several issues. Well, but they're not all bad ones. I went back to paint some walls, attend barbecue session, and of course do revision.(which only lasted for 1 session..)

Aww.. A new year in 2007. A Happy New Year to everyone of my readers~ ^__^ Didn't actually went to any countdown parties.. Counted down at home, in front of my computer.. Was playing stepmania with my keyboard~ XD

Well, even though I never attended any social countdown parties.. But I did benefit from it ^_^ Browsed around my favourite cosplay forums and found myself a wonderful thread posted by a wonderful member~!! LoL.. Need any special mentions? Hmm.. Maybe next time. Coz I'm still quite new there, and still unfamiliar with majority of the members there.. XP

Anyway, inside that thread~!! Cool XD I've found photos of my favourite cosplayer! Yay~~!! XD ^__^ She wore the Suiseiseki costume to countdown at Cosafe~!! Ooo~~ Thats just nice~ ^__^

Hmm.. lets change topics.. Don't want her to think that I'm too obsessed with her.. -_- Because... I'm not XP I just admire her cosplaying. She cosplayed alot of characters.. and they all looked nice~ XP

Ok official topic change..

First day of school.. Immediately started off with faculty tests.. Thats just lame.. Coz I never revised one bit. And.. Most of my friends didn't revise too. So.. The College staff are just wasting their time. Physics today.. totally hopeless just like during the Promotional exams in 2006. Theres General Paper tomorrow.. And as usual.. nothing to revise about for GP..

Mathematics comes next.. Wow.. At least I'm planning to revise math.. tomorrow after school.. And theres Art on Friday too.. My most feared subject.. ARt.... Because its so unpredictable.. and I haven't done any of the art assignments... I'm so dead.. (Well, I didn't do any of the assignments except GP.. due to the penalties for GP.. The rest of the subjects.. couldn't be bothered.. Art is my only concern.. but I'm soooo stuck...)

Its not like I'm going to slack all the way... Its Year 2 ... I finally somehow got myself to start planning.. during the last day of the holidays.. Got slightly back to working mode.. Planned some short term goals.. and pinned them.. sticked them.. up on my wall full of anime posters.. XD

My Academic Goals..
-H2 Physics PASS!!
-C Grade for Mathematics XD
-Confirm coursework idea for ArT XP
- 2 hours revision twice a week..

My Social Goals..
-Attend Cosfest VI !!!
- Interact with cosplay friends~!!

Thats all.. Gonna end off the entry.. Hmm.. Not that long.. right..? ^__^

A new cosplay

2006-12-22T19:21:00.000+08:00

Wow, I've finally decided to join the world of cosplay!! Created a new account at a cosplay forum a few days ago. Hehe, the people there are all so friendly!! Hope to make lotsa new friends there!! XD

I joined the KH2 Team for Cosfest VI in 2007!! Thats damn awesome. If I persevere, Cosfest VI will be my official cosplaying debut!! Whoo~hoo~~

I'll be cosplaying with many familiar names but unfamiliar faces(...to me... haha.. too noob..) Hope I don't pull their legs..

Besides my lack of experience, other limitations might include my lack of funds... T_T... Cosplaying is expensive..!! Thats because I can't sew my own costumes.. If I could.. It would have been more economical and fun... Just imagine .. walking around with a costume I made myself.. (Yeah.. just imagine can already.. coz it won't happen anytime soon)

I'll be cosplaying as Xemnas from Kingdom Hearts II, If all goes well... Not sure if I look like him though... Thats a problem.. Psychological problem.. Need to slim down!! My face... just feels too rounded..(at least thats what I think.. My mother kept forcing me to eat more because she says I'm too thin.. She is so..likes to contradict herself.. says I'm too thin.. but still called me fat. what the..)

I'll be exercising.. hoping to get back to shape.. A better looking me.. No results yet though..( what do I expect? Its only been 2 weeks..)

Today, I went to J. College and tried to work on my math assignment. TRIED!! But more or less failed miserably. With the aid of my friend Treviz, I managed to do....2 questions in like... 4 hours... cooool!! And theres still 4 full math papers to go.. Bah.. impossible for the current standard me to finish. Taking into consideration my current mood and mindset and etc.

Definitely will not be able to complete all of the given assignments on time. So, I just need to prioritize... Yup. GP comes first(due to punishments) and Art second( due to interest) and math comes next(due to.. better than physics.) and last comes cosplay!!! Physics? FOrgeT it.. If I've got the time...

Don't know why, holidays come, all my classmates like disappeared into thin air... Except two of my friends who actually asked me out.. The rest.. Hmm... maybe they are experimenting on the techniques of invisibility..

Totally never heard from them.. Especially 1 of them.. Totally no news... Asked to study together also no reply at all.. Haiz.. Made me so sad lorz.. Thats all... Leave some for next entry XDXD

Cosplayers Rocks

2006-12-17T09:07:00.000+08:00

Oh my god, I went to the STAC EOY 2006 Resolutions yesterday, 16 December 2006. And it was such an interesting event! I had so much fun there. It is like a dream come true for all anime lovers!

Its so cool to see so many fans and cosplayers gathering together and having fun! There were people that took photos non-stop! That, of course, is because the cosplayers are too awesome! Many of the costumes are all so well done! The performances there are rather entertaining too. I especially liked one of the two Emcees' costume. Pink hair, with an altered design of the standard japanese school uniform, my description simply cannot fully describe her beauty enough. Her poses were excellent too!

Tis really a shame that I didn't bring a camera to the event. My 1.3 megapixel camera phone can only do so much but show blurry and low-def photos.

Another regretful thing is that I ain't cosplaying!! Thats too sad! I'm so fired-up by that event!! Next time!! NEXT EVENT I'll definitely want to cosplay!!

ITS really like a dream come true to see anime characters walking around you in real life. This Heavenly experience is one of the first I had, and I will definitely start attending EOY in the future! EOY Rules!! Cosplayers Rocks!!

It made me real sad that the event ended.. I'm depressed even now, with all the memory in my brain conflicting against each other. My personalities in my sub-conscious conflicting against each other.What should I do...

STAC Resolution 2006, My first ever cosplay event, I will not forget.

Powered Up

2006-12-15T15:21:00.000+08:00

Welcome to my new and updated blog! It features a new blogskin of Saber from 'Fate: Stay Night'. It has been a while since I have last updated my cute little blog thats not pink anymore. But! She is still very cute!! No joke!

It took me quite a while to decide which blogskin I will use. Really a tiring process. Especially when I had another anime character in mind, but failed to locate a decent blogskin of her. Anyway, I'm still quite happy with my new and powered up blog!

Powered up with what? Powered up with a new blog entry of course!!

Even though the holidays have arrived, but that doesn't mean I can finally rest for a while without worrying about school. Yes, it is dreadful to know that the inhumane amount of homework tasks assigned to us were disasterrific!

The English department especially, was looking for trouble by demanding we complete a total of 24 reading logs! On top of that, it comes with an online forum conference session that we have to sign up for and turn in one essay entry pertaining to the viewpoints of our own. Not forgetting the full set of General Paper examination paper. End off with assessment exercises of a vocabulary enhancing book to be done from exercises week 1 to week 30. All within the short and insignificant(when in comparison for the proportion ratio of homework : holiday) 6 weeks.

I can't believe that was only the assignments for General Paper!! Damn we still had other subjects!! Why don't they realize!!!

As of now, I have only been engaging in the assigments for General Paper. The rest of the subjects, totally untouched. At least I've tried doing some of the physics questions, but failed miserably, struggling for 2 hours before ordering a retreat.

Even my favourite subject, Art, had us installed with tedious(spelling error?) amounts of work that was deemed by all art students as "definitely unable to complete". Bah, I don't even know how to start doing the assignment!!

Two more weeks until the end of the holidays and a new school semester will start. That, I am definitely finding it unreasonable. Its too short a holiday to enable us to rest at all, taking into consideration the amount of assignments we had to do.

Enough about the dreaded assignments. I'll type about something else.

Well, I've just finished watching 'Gundam Seed Destiny'. It is a really cool anime and fun to watch. A lot of serious moments. I love it very much. The intense storyline is great despite the many people bashing it for the so called re-used story. Nevertheless, I still love it. Gundam Seed Destiny appeared to be a lot more enjoyable than Gundam Seed. Probably because of the addition of many unique characters that are so lovable(Lunamaria Hawke!! XDXD) I mean, even the names are cool. Sunrise have done it again. The Gundam series have definitely came a long way, constantly improving and changing, but keeping alot of the key elements at the same time. This is what brings the fans back to the series again and again, even though the overall story at a summarized level, is almost the same.

But hey, many stories are identical in life. It is the details that make each and every one unique. I really can't stand people that bash the storylines saying 'hey, this was done before! Boring'. How many original stories can you get? Overall, there will definitely be stories that are similar when summarized. I mean, a story will definitely have a lead character right? Ain't that a similarity? Hah!

There is no need to focus too much on the main idea of a story. Overall, its the details that made the story enjoyable. Not the main idea of the story. That doesn't mean the story isn't important. It just means that the people should stop criticizing identical stories. When its so easy to realize which parts are identical, why don't we focus more on seeing which parts are different? Then we would realize that similar stories aren't that identical after all.

Part III of my entry!!

Well well, I'm scheduled to go to an Otaku Anime Convention event tomorrow!! I feel so excited, especially since I have never been to one, despite being an anime fan for more than 12 years already. The only sad thing is that, well, I don't have any costumes to wear to the party... I won't be able to cosplay tomorrow!! Its saddening.. Especially when I reach there tomorrow and see all the fans cosplaying!! T^T Noooo.

I can't even get a costume!! Just because I'm broke, and I ain't having enough time to make one myself.. Damn.. Better luck next year. Really hope I can cosplay in that event next year!!

Still have quite a few issues I would like to raise, but I guess I should end off this entry since, I don't few like emptying all my thoughts yet. And I'll need it for my next entries. Anytime soon? I'm not sure.. It depends on my readers, and of course myself.

Sorry about the hardcore fans of my love affair. No love story this time. XD

Rush

2006-10-18T22:13:00.000+08:00

Hmm... I'm not trying to slack or anything... Its just that... I'm stuck while doing my Insights and Reflections for Project Work...

Might as well type something here. Its definitely more enjoyable than that boring I & R... Anyway, I just felt the need to update my beautiful pink little blog. Even though... Oh, forget it.

On with the Topic

JC1 Promotional Examinations are over. That's a relief.. Guess What!! I managed to get promoted to JC2. Tomorrow... The High-ups are meeting to decide on the fate of those who failed to meet the criteria for promotion.

Unfortunately, my Revision Friend didn't make it.. So.. Tomorrow, his fate will be decided. Its really rather sad.. 3 of my classmates might face the fate of being retained in JC1.. Whats worse? My sister!! The only person I have met since my birth who holds a pen the exact same way as me, decided to transfer to a Polytechnic course already!! So sad... She has stopped attending school...

My Pending Best Friend, managed to get promoted also.. Congratulations! I knew you could make it! Despite her absence of the Mathematics Paper!!
The other two guys are struggling... which... I have no intention of elaborating in this entry due to my confused state of mind.

I have a feeling its going to be a rather short entry..

Anyway, a few.. 2 days ago, Monday of this week.. She has once again... hurt me.. indirectly.
Hmm.. Today is definitely not a good day for writing my blog...

So, I'm summarizing.. She indirectly said my hairstyle is bad.. By comparing me with my very good friend.. So sad... I know its bad.. But.. No one has ever told me that lar.. Somemore, I have no idea what hairstyle to apply..that will actually make me look good.. I want to cut my hair again.. But I have no money..

Can't Stand it anymore.. Sorry for my readers for publishing such a third-rate entry...

I apologize for this below standard entry. The next entry will definitely feaure some improvements.

Arrows in my Heart...

2006-09-30T21:11:00.000+08:00

What a saddening day...

Today, I realized that she doesn't give a damn about me. No, not even as a friend. Well, not as a closer friend. No, not friends. Just classmates.

That is true. We never really interacted at all. Not even exchanged greetings. Its not that I don't want to talk to her... Just that... She feels so distant to me. I have no courage to talk to her. I don't even dare to say hi to her. My pathetic habits of anti-sociality are killing my progression with her. Yes, if I had not mentioned previously.. Or you haven't realized, I totally don't know how to approach the female I love.

(In my definition, like is for girls that I feel comfortable with, close friends which... I can count them all with just one hand. Love is for girls that I have the desire to start a relationship with at a period of time.)

The more I love the a girl, the more I somehow naturally ignores her. Totally. I don't even dare to exchange eye contact. I'm pathetic, I know. Tell me about it.

Therefore, if I happen to love a girl whom I am not really close to.. I will most probably screw up. Which has happened.. Like... 4 times already.

I am really grateful to God and myself for the girls who are good friends with me. Even though I currently have non of those type of friends. Previously, I had a close female friend. My second ever "best friend" and first ever female regarded as "best friend" by me. Her name, you can find it on my blog. Its always there. Even though we are in different institutes of education now, and her blog is basically dead.. I can virtually talk about anything with her. I thank God for this precious gift.

I have often told myself to look for girlfriends among my friend list. However, infatuation prevails, and my friend list for females isn't very broad. It hasn't been updated since like.. two years ago. Even though there is a pending name to be added to my female friend list.. Yes, YS, thats you I'm typing about. Be my friend, won't you?

Oh, one side event. I give my blessings to my friend and her boyfriend she made a few months back. (Not sure if they're still together now though.. choi?)

Currently, there is no one from my friend list that I can target.(You know what I mean. Dunno? Too bad)

Anyways, I'm definitely struggling for my JC1 curriculum. Promotional Examinations are 2 days from now. I just finally got the determination to study.. Got it just the start of this week.. Somehow, I was unable to revise at home anymore.. Unlike in the past. That is a very awkward thing.. And sad too. Totally can't concentrate.. Something wrong with my room's feng shui..

Gratefully, I found a substitute location for my revisions. The School Compound. Also, I broke off with my traditional revision methods of solitary revision. I need to revise with company, if not my revision will not even take flight.. I will be like.. Stuck! at the first math question that I attempt to solve. It happens everytime, without fail. I have made a few very good friends to revise with me. Bernard and Shang Yong. There is also Mrs Sze-Seah, my H2 Math Tutor. Without her, I would have probably quit school along time ago.

Now I'm at home, typing this. You should know why. Something has happened thats worth recording. Also, I can't revise at home.. So, might as well do some reflections and recounts, and maybe commentary.

However, besides unable to revise at home, I feel exceptionally sad and predicted, I knew that that day would come. Oh, I feel confused too. My revision friends made me message her today. And, it made her angry. These were her exact words(sms'ed to me)

My business?i very
serious of hor i dun
like gay or guy home
la.. study dun study
waste time

She don't care about me, she don't even regard me as a friend. She mocked me of being a gay. It is not as if I LOVED TO BE GAY. I'M JUST DESPERATE. THATS ALL. WHAT CAN I DO WHEN MY HORMONES RAGE AND I DESIRE TO HAVE A FEMALE COMPANION? My methods may be wrong. Okay they are wrong. What can I do about it? Change? It takes time. If people can change their attitude and personality overnight, then the world would be destroyed long ago and ICE Age would have came and went.

It took me freaking half a year to change my attitude towards study.
It took me half a year to make like.. a few friends in class.
It took me like half a year to finally break down admit I'm overstressed.
It took me half a year to admit that my brother was right.
It took me half a year for me to admit that I am blessed with great tutors(for every subject) and classmates.

I thought about sending her a message of apology.. To apologize.. A simple sorry.. But, I was afraid that she would hate me even more for being weak and useless. She would hate me even more. That I was only trying to make myself feel better and not care about how she would feel if she received my apology. That I am a selfish person.

I refrained myself from sending that apology. Now I just feel under the weather. I hope that tomorrow's weather will be similar to today's. Cooling, no sun. There is no one for me to consult my problems with. I am alone, for that feeling belongs only to me. Shared by no one.

Even if I got retained in JC1, I will not run away. I will not transfer to the Poly Route. I am pretty sure of it. The road is a rough one. But I have no choice but to move on.

Dead Things...

2006-08-26T22:29:00.000+08:00

Well, guess what? I'm typing a new entry for my cute little pink-red-colorish blog again. Why am I doing that? Its just because I happen to be browsing at my blog, I clicked on a link I have set, got transferred over to my friend's blog. Guess what I saw..

I saw the renmants of a dead blog. The blog can be concluded to be officially dead. Its been so long since she has last updated. Maybe its because she got a boyfriend, and got less time to think about writing crap which few people care about. Yeah, she would rather spend some time with her boy. Why? Because I said so, and you are reading my blog.

Anyway, I kind of had the feeling that... death is, undesirable. To me, death means something without a future. It doesn't have to be a living organism that has a ceased heart. Death is the inability to move away from the past. One with no future.

I don't want to have that kind of feeling, even though I am sort of experiencing that specific feeling right now. But I'm far from dead, I'm so frustrated and my mind is so disorganized right now that ... I feel the kind of "alive-ness" which I desperately want to get rid of. It costs me my concentration. I can't concentrate on studies, I can't even concentrate properly on having fun of any sort. That is a sad sad thing, for me.

I just don't want my blog to be dead. I want my blog to live on for a long long time. Therefore I am trying hard to update my blog. At least for now, when I can still sort of concentrate on typing my blog.

My blog, World of My Own, not about anything, but everything. Everything about me that I feel the desire to express; I shall not regret typing any single post here in this blog, for I know that all my entries were truthful and contained a small fragment of myself. Even if there are no readers for my publications, I will still continue this act for an indefinite future, for it is a record for me; what I felt at certain times. It is for me to remember what I felt before, and what I desire to feel in the future.

My life is a boring one, without adventure of extraordinary elements. Unique in every way. However not everyone is interested in the every-day-lives of me. Not even me, for this blog is not a transcript but an essence. An essence of myself.

It would seem awkward if I wrote about some other things besides such philosophical and self-reflectory things. I'll save my thoughts for later entries.

So damn pissed~~~~

2006-08-22T21:05:00.000+08:00

*[WARNING: THE FOLLOWING ENTRY CONTAINS EXPLICIT LANGUAGE]*

DAmnit. I am so pissed right now. And it has nothing to do with toilets. Actually I wanted to do my Math Revision that I had planned just 2 days ago. But, I just can't continue according to my freaking plan anymore. That damn paparazzi issue 3 ruined my mood for everything!!

Paparazzi is a weekly article reporting about the scandals of my class. The Chief Editor is NON OTHER that my damn love RIBAL!!!

In the article this week, he damn jackass-ly took a photograph of HER sleeping during class. DAMN THAT WAS CHEAP!! Somemore he tried to cover up his true intentions by including 2 other photographs of my classmates sleeping. Guess whats the heading? "Sleeping Beauties" I swear its actually "Sleeping Beauty" lahz. Can't stand him. Somemore that photo of her looks so cool and promotes love-inducing thoughts. Of course, he made use of this chance to praise her again.Expected move. Expected, but the effect is still there. Damn I can't stand him.

What am I doing!?!? Writing this crap down just to vent out my frustration? I'm so damn pissed. He ruin a fine night for revision. Guess what? There are two tests tomorrow. And what am I doing? Punching on my keyboard to record down this crap.

NEveRMIND FINE FORGET IT. WhY? BeCAuSe I'm JUST A CowArD.

Forget about her.. Forget about he!? I'm still trying. Don't expect to have any desired outcomes.Damn sadded now. So much has happened. DAmn Sh!t Fcking pissed.

What a lovable and hateful day...

2006-08-13T17:06:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm writing a new entry again. This time, don't really have any special reasons. Just that my blog reader wanted me to update more often, and I promised her that I'll update it today if something happens, that is worth recording.

Yes, I think I shall cut to the chase(Not sure if I used that phrase correctly, but... you know what I mean..) For this entry, I shall get straight into the main focus of the entry. Thats right, no fillers.

Now onto what I want to write or type, to be more accurate.

Today is a special day unlike any other.(Duh, you don't like the exact same day twice, unless its the movie "Groundhog Day"( If I remember correctly, wanted to watch that movie, but I'm not sure if its released... Or... ended its cinema showings.)

Right, why I'm writing this entry. The main topic for today is "Rejection", and the keyword is "Double Rejection". Right, it happened all on this day. Just the starting of this day. 1200am... so its considered to be today.

Anyways... As you have read from my previous entries, I'm looking for a new victim. A new someone who I can devote to whole-heartedly, and receive the same magnitude of love back in return. It all happened like this...

I was chatting with my friend which happens to be a girl. As usual, we talked about relationship related topics. Out of the blues, another girl sent me an instant message asking me if I'm really giving up on eating that fish.(Sorry if you have no idea what I'm typing, but I don't really care.)

Then, I tried changing topics... and was successful. Totally successful. I diverted the question "are you giving up on her" to "do you wanna be my next victim?" Brilliant, ain't I.. I can't believe I'm such a pro.. haha..

I made her lose her composure and forgot about that question she was trying to ask. But, my question to her sort of contained hints of the answer for her question... But, I don't care. As long as I need not say that "Yes, I'm giving her up completely" Because that is "IMPOSSIBLE". Try forgetting someone you liked for nearly half-a-year within half-a-week. I can predict the outcome. YOu will PHAIL miserably.

Until now, there is only ONE single person whom I regretted liking. That same person that brought our 12 hour relationship to an end. She gave me light... but burned my heart at the same time.. wATeVER

Anywayz, back to the topic.

I asked her if she wanna be my stead, and she rejected me immediately.( Duh, which female in the right mind would say yes.. wait... I just remembered one... NeVERMind.. forget it..why am I constantly reminded of that fire-bringer...)

Yes, that was my first rejection of the day, and second rejection of my life.

Next, I asked my other friend whom I was previously talking to.(Confused? nevermind. I still don't care..)

"Wanna be my next victim?"

"....no"

Ouch. The second rejection of the day and third rejection of my life.

I wasn't giving up.. I wanted to try again, on another girl. Now this other girl, is a Damn Chio chio bu. So, I added her to my chat window.

Here's what happened..

" Hi cho bu!!!"

(insert nick) has just left the conversation.

*ImpACTTTTTttt*

I din't even get the chance to be rejected... Oh my Tian...

Don't feel like typing anymore... Anywayz, that's basically what happened.

About my entry title... screw that sh!t...

Hmm... Good New? Bad New? Better than No News..

2006-08-10T15:55:00.001+08:00

Well, guess what? I think I'm finally reset... No longer feel so sad anymore. At least for now, this moments. I've thought about something.. Hmm... Interesting stuff coming up!! Lets see now, how should I start saying?

Okies, how's this....

I've spent like, five hours listening to Canon Rock on youtube. What an AmaZIng Variation And Creation!!! JerryC rocks to the core man! Funtwo is coolz too. Sorry JerryC, But I prefer Funtwo's cleaner version... Haha, personal preference... Anyways... I've been listening to the other members of youtube trying their best to perfect the Canon Rock. But...Hmm.. .how should I put it... "Needs more Training." Practice MAnZZZ!!!!

I've also been reading my horoscope for quite some time now... Hmm... it seems... the Astrological signs are correct!!! It sez... I'm gonna feel alot better and some influencial star fades away... And...Guess what? I really am feeling kinda better. I'm starting to think with my mind too!! Thats improvement!!

But, sadly, I still have no mood to engage in any work related stuff. Not just yet.. The signs say that I've gonna be super rush for blood today.. Hyper active!!! Can't Stop moving with the rhythm... Restless.... Hmm... Not sure if I used the word correctly... Nevermind... must be daring and use complicated vocabulary frequently.. if I want to improve...

Next... Hmm... I realized I'm typing quite fast now.. Probably under the influence of the Canon Rock..

So much for fillers....

Now to the main topic!!!

I've been thinking.... with my brain... that... I should maybe just give up. Yes. Give up on that girl that I've been crying over for the past two days. I no longer feel so EMO anymore... That, is no doubt a good thing.

HAHAHA that means I can look for NEW POTeNtIAL Targets again... Muahahahahaha

Hold your horses, dun be overjoyed girls... I... haven't decided yet.. Not confirmed... But.. I can say that the chances of me giving her up is quite.... high.. If not over %50.... Just hope I ain't shown more provocative photos of her...anytime in the near future. IF not I might be influenced.. again.. haha... Come on... pray for me.. .haha..

Pray that I might meet someone... I can stay devoted to .... and receive the same amount of love back at the same time.. I've had enough with... one-sided love affairs...

Oh yea... Pray that I met another girl I like soon... Preferrably not targeted by other guys.. Also.... Preferably a Cancer... I mean Astrological Sign: Cancer... Maybe it'll go smoother... haha... must be prudent... Celestial pairing...yes? Celestial Pairing... Even though.... Leo might have been nice.... But... Too BaaaAAAaaAAad...

I here must Apologize to my Friend.. Alvin F. whom... I ate vinegar becoz he got to piggyback "SOMEONE" Its not his fault. Didn't meant no harm. I'm just so envious of him now... got to piggyback ride a chio bu... All I ever piggybacked...was Daryl... and Emma... and... I forgot..

That doesn't mean I don't Love you anymore. I can say that my feelings for you for the past 5 months were truthful, and still are truthful. Its just that... There are complications.. If we met at some other place, some other time, some other type of complications... We could have been very good friends.. At least thats what I think.

Now.. Just see if I can find some other poor victim... It must be scary... to be liked by..someone like me.. haha.. victim..

WHERE IS MY NEXT VICTIM!!!MUAahahahHAHAhaha

I feel... so tired...

2006-08-09T10:24:00.000+08:00

I don't know what to do now. I feel like giving up this foolish and selfish struggle. Both are my classmates and I do not want to make things more complicated for anyone. Maybe I'm just afraid. Yes, I'm afraid. I'm frightened. I'm a coward. Even though I told myself not to care about them, but the more I say so the more I care. I can finally conclude that I am lost. No longer do I know where to head next. Where is my destination besides death? I only live this life once, I will not be able to remember it in my next life. I am only young once. I cannot forgive myself to just let time pass and grow old out of waiting.

But what then, can I do?
What then, shall I do?
What then, must I do?

This is my life, this is my story.

There is no one to stop me, there is no one to instruct me.
There is no one to force me, there is no one to guide me.

Passive as I am, active as I wish.
Energetic as I desire, friendly as I hope.

There are two types of dreams in this world- And It is separated by the amount of wish and want.

Everyone wishes to be a millionaire and lead a happy life. But few wants to strive for that goal with everything they've got. We can all dream. But few of us really want and care to work hard for that dream. So, a dream will forever remain a dream. For, if a dream is accomplished, it will no longer be a dream.

What do I dream of then? Like every simple youth on Earth. Have a ever-lasting and ever-loving relationship with that perfect female. But what then, am I doing? Nothing.. just nothing.

Should I give up?
Should I not?
Please don't ask me,
For I know naught.

Sad Sad Day

2006-08-08T23:18:00.000+08:00

I personally think that today is one of the more saddening days of my life, yet. I really think that its worse than being rejected by a girl.

What could be more saddening, to be a coward and do nothing about my own love affair? I swear love triangles are killers. What could be worse than seeing my "love rival" and my infatuatee taking photos and exchanging messages? Moreover, to see them being discussed in front of a group of my classmates?

Call me childish and lame if you want. Call me a loser and weakling if you want. For all I care and desire, you have no grasp of it. I swear I'm sane and sober enough already. If not, I woud have already killed myself over such a trivial matter of life.

Life is Precious, but Heart is Fragile.

OMFG...minus the F part..

2006-08-06T11:48:00.000+08:00

I can't believe it.

What my best friend had just told me.

It had shocked me to the state of confusion.

I can't think anymore.

I just found out that my infatuation( hereby referred to as crush) has not one, but two guys liking her at the same time. OMG I think my English for this entry is totalled screwed.

My love triangle developed to a FORE SIGHTED FIGER....

.............
...
.......

.........
........................
..............
....... . .............
........

Not so good good news... ExtRA!! ExTra!!!

I just found out from my first friend in JC that that external threat is sort of minimal... haha...
Because she dun even care about that guy at all....

Hmm.... must record down... that guy is her colleague from Golden Village. but she dun giva damn about him...

ok... haha .... case sort of closed....

Wait... but she also don't have a good impression of me... HAiz... I think I'll suffer the same fate as that GV colleague guy...

This is for someone I know and you to find out...

2006-08-03T19:14:00.000+08:00

Yes, it has been quite a long time since I gave my blog a proper entry... Actually, I've thought about updating it a couple of times before, but I was just too busy. Even now, I'm still very busy; Got an AK-Test tomorrow.(Not the AK-47, but Art Knowledge.)

Yes, I think this is the first time after a long time since I have been true to my feelings, my passion. I took up Art as one of my major subjects in the Junior College level.( I forgot if I mentioned it before... anyways just to be prudent.)

I loved Art, or should I say, I loved Japanese Manga and Animation for a long time. Since I started watching Television, I had always had that special attraction towards Japanese Anime and Manga.

However, I never really took Art in my Primary and Secondary School days...Coz, I'm not really gifted, talented, genius material. Yeah, I remember mentioning this incident with my Art teacher in Secondary 2 in my previous posts. You should know..

Now, the reason I am typing out this entry right now. Just because my sole blog-reader, or I thought to be, complained to me that I haven't updated my blog for a long time. Yeah, thats you, the one that's reading this entry this moment. On top of that, there is another reason that I am typing this entry.

Thats right, you've guessed it. The only issue that will make me naturally want to express out t0 (insert name(s)) is my "love Affair". Please take note of the """" . Get it? You don't? Nevermind. You're not supposed to know.

Now... to the main topic.( Man, do I love writing lengthy introductions...)

Alas, I have once again fallen into the deepest oblivion of Infatuation.( Please ignore the word "oblivion" if it irritates you...You only need to know that I'm infatuated again) I doubt that this time its true love. Doubtful, but nonetheless, I love the sensation and ecstacy I'm experiencing. (Please forgive me if I missed the proper spelling of any word in this document.)

Yes!! To my Story....

Actually, I had been infatuated to/with her since the start of my JC life. I still remember my first Economics lesson in class. I was assigned to the same temporary group as her. When I first had my eyes on her, I was awed by her simple but beautiful look. Her face, the first time we exchanged glances, the first time she looked into my eyes and spoke, the first time I saw her vibrant and refreshing smile.

I fell in love...

No... This can't be true, I told myself. It has happened countless times; my relation with infatuation is like best of buddies. Infatuation has always been around me. I cannot simply convince myself that it is indeed infatuation. "Time will tell."

Thus I waited, waited
for the long but short hours of the days and
for the long but short days of the weeks and
for the long but short weeks of the months.

But alas, it has been five months since that faithful day. My feelings for her have not withered. Instead, it has grown even deeper in my heart.

I felt pain, pain when he said that he liked her,
pain when he confessed that he liked her,
pain because he went back on his own words,
pain because he said that he will like her instead of her.

The pain threw my thoughts into the darkest depths of Oblivion. Total emptiness, my mind was vacuumed of thoughts. I cannot think anymore. I cannot feel anymore.

Since I cannot reveal her name, but to prevent me from forgetting her precious name and her beautiful face. This is a little something for my own referencing. Riddle time?

(Well, I've decided to change the riddle. Or should I say, remove the riddle for the time being. Until things have calmed down, at the very least. It should be pretty easy to remember who I like.. I see her everyday on my desktop's wallpaper.. haha... )

I'm sure my best friend, if he is reading this, don't even need to guess and he will know the answer.

End..(Happy? Happy? I've typed a new entry because you told me to do so.)

Okay..

2006-06-24T15:43:00.000+08:00

First Sketch

Second Sketch

Third Sketch

Recently, well just now, I created a new account at photobucket. Felt like uploading some of my sketches onto the internet. I'm not really good at drawing... And they are not exactly original works... So, whatever...

Wow, quite a short entry... Cuz I'm not exactly in the mood to write... School Holiday is ending...

Japan Rocks

2006-06-06T19:58:00.000+08:00

Now that my infatuation for that girl from the previous entry has kinda faded, I began browsing youtube for other type of videos. That infatuation was amazingly short, it faded after about 48 hours. I felt kinda relieved though, cause' I know nothing ain't going to happen between her and me. She lives in the United Kingdom, and me, in southeast Asia.

Plus...... nah, I ain't gonna continue. If that goes on, I'm gonna forget what the main focus of my entry is... That is, if my entries had main focuses. I kept slipping out of the topic I set for myself...

Whatever...

Today I, once again, fell in love with Japanese Rock bands, and some japanese singers. They are great. There is Minami Kuribayashi and Misono(who recently sort of gone solo as her band, Day After Tomorrow, sort of disbanded(don't come flaming me if I'm wrong...)). They all have wonderful voices for singing. I stared at their music videos for like, hours. When I said music videos, I actually only mean two music videos... I think. Thats right, I played the videos repeatedly, over and over and over and over and over again. I certainly enjoyed every single time I pressed the "play again" button.

Thats just me and my habits.

Next, I looked for rock band music videos, live ones. Coz' they always sound different when performing life, and the music tend to be... remixed a little.

I found Lar'c En Ciel's live edition of "Ready Steady Go". And it sure sounded different from the cd. The tempo was faster, but the vocal, Hyde, sounded kinda tired...As in, tired...He didn't quite keep up with the music...But that's okay... Its live. If we wanna hear the perfect version, we can always listen to the cd...Completely synchronized, and the exact same feeling every time.

Of course, Live also enables us to understand the attitude of the band better. If you know what I mean. The way they move, their actions, their speech etc. If you still don't get it, thats too bad. Coz' I ain't good at describing.

Here comes the highlight!

Alluva sudden, I one rock band popped up in my head. High and Mighty Color!!!!Yeah, thats one cooool band. They know their music.

I finally found what I was looking for, "Ichirin No Hana" live. It was about 4 hours ago since I found that video clip. And now its been playing non-stop on my PC. The Vocal, Maki, looked really attractive. She's got personality and sense of fashion. I'm totally in love with her... and her music.

Suddenly it makes me think of unhappy things, like JC life and discrimination. I have no motivation to continue my studies at all... It sucks. suddenly, I felt like learning to play a music instrument, nah, I want to form a band. I want to be in a band. Not just any band, A japanese vocal band.(I mean a band that the language the vocal uses is Japanese).

Songs and music has always been very popular among all cultures and people. It acts as a stress-reliever and pastime. It has such a magical touch. Since young(I'm not really that old...) I have been very envious about people that can create wonderful music. I always thought that its beyond my reach, excuses like 'I'm too young'... 'I can't do that'... 'I have school to attend'... flooded my thoughts. Now, many of those excuses could no longer have that convincing effect on me...

I'm now 17 years old. Talented youths as young as the age of mine are already creating wonderful music and songs. Many of the talented celebrity singers in Japan are of my age. I can no longer tell myself that I'm too young to create music, to form a band, to do what I want...

I was too preoccupied with all those excuses that I didn't even know how to play a single musical instrument... I was really jealous of my secondary school classmates who could play the guitar so well... Jealous... Really jealous. But I still refused to try and follow my heart... Education was the heaviest excuse. I had no time because I had to worry about scoring in examinations. I choose Co-Curriculur Activities that are virtually useless, When I had the chance to choose a CCA that could teach me how to play a music instrument... I slacked... and slacked...

Now, I have the craziest idea... No motivation for studies, might as well dun do anything about it. I began thinking about getting guitar lessons.(hey, thats a start, right?)And I', going to neglect my studies... Suddenly I wanted to do things that I had always wanted to do. And not because someone forced me to do(like forcing me to adopt the JC route...)

In the past, no matter how difficult, lame, tiring schoolwork was, I still treated them as top priority... I never failed to do badly in exams and daily school work. No matter how hard and time-consuming they were.

Now, I didn't care about homework or school work. I slept in lectures, slacked in tutorials. And sleeped at home. That is the template for my daily activities...

Now, I got the motivation to learn to play music instruments, to do what I want. This is, after all, my life. I only live this life once. Even if I reincarnate, I would never remember what I did in this life. Maki-chan is my motivation. She cancelled her plans to study English Language in America because she wanted to be in a Rock Band in Japan. She stayed in Japan, and is now very popular among japanese people. Her band, "High and Mighty Color".

Cool Day in Taiwan

2006-06-02T13:08:00.000+08:00

I can't believe this is happening... After such a long period of absence, I never thought that I will be writing yet another entry. Especially this entry.

Junior College drained away most of my time and essence of life. I became ignorant and started rotting away like a lifeless body. Every day, the same procedures went on- I went to College, and returned home. An endless cycle that haunted every child since they started attending school. But, this was far worse than what I had experienced in Secondary School. I couldn't adapt to the fast-paced lifestyle of the average Junior College student.

Or should I say, I refused to adapt. I refused to accept the reality of the busy and stressful days each Junior College student endures every day. I messed up.

The June school holidays started a few days back, implying that the Common Tests have just ended. Well, sort of, ended. I have sat for most of the exam papers. All thats left is Mathematics. I have to say. I screwed up this examination. I didn't give a damn about the importance of this exam. I didn't revise for any of the subjects, making up excuses for myself, like there was not enough time etc.

I'm quite confident that I ain't passing any of the exams. Well, right now, I am still equipped with the "heck care" attitude.

I'm back in Taiwan. My usual annual trip to "visit relatives". Sadly, Nick's Castle collapsed. The shop closed down... I can never do my annual shopping there again..

Anywayz, this isn't the reason I'm writing this entry...

This Morning, I saw a quite chio chinese girl...It was such a coincidence that I saw her video on youtube... When I clicked on that video link, I wasn't expecting to see an chio girl.... But when the buffering is completed and the video started playing... I saw her... She is definitely without doubt the more beautiful females I have seen in my life.People both complimented her of her beauty, while others badmouth her.. Quite typical for chio girls..

Oh My God.... She makes me want to be a female... A really beautiful one... Too bad I'm a guy.. Just hope that I will be a really beautiful and cute and confident female in my next life... Really... really...

After seeing her... I had the urge to record it down on my blog.. But, ironically I really don't know what to write.... haha... end.

Time is running out...

2006-02-16T20:32:00.000+08:00

My temporary job has concluded...Well, that was like...three weeks ago... Its been a while since I last updated. Now, I'm jobless again. Hurray! Endless hours of gaming awaits me. It kinda sucked though... I used up all my job's pay within like... three days. Back to square one.

Plus, now I can't get another job. All because I'm applying for Junior College education, which will be commencing lectures soon...Well... its not like my application will definitely be approved... But, I guess I didn't do THAT badly at the GCE Ordinary Level Examinations... Yeah, the results are out. I've scored 3 As- Principles of Accounts, Elementary Mathematics and Combined Science(Phy/Chem).

My L1R5 aggregate is 14 points, while my ELR2B2 got 9 points. I did pretty badly for my humanities subjects... But, thats within my expectations! Muahahaha!

I actually wanted to apply for a Polytechnic education. However, my brother interfered with my decision and "ADVISED" me to apply for a Junior College. Now, I'm stuck with the Junior College-University life... It was a really unexpected turn of events. I mean... I didn't even bother to consider going to a Junior College. I was determined to apply for a Info-Communications course at Temasek Polytechnic. Thus, I paid no attention to any information regarding Junior Colleges; Subject combination, entry requirements, new policies for 2006 etc.

That move hit me big time! I'm somewhat "Forced" to apply for a Junior College without any knowledge about it at all. Do I type as if I will definitely be approved to further my studies at the Junior College I applied for? Well, with results like mine, it'll take tonnes of bad fortune(touchwood...choi~~) for me to be denied of entry to my desired Junior College.

I was really caught off guard... Now I must think of which subject combination I'm going to take at the Junior College, and think about which field of expertise I'll be learning at the University level. Till now, I have never had the thought of studying at a University... Not especially after my father sayin' "I'm dying! I have no money to let the kids study at a University!"

Well, I've already submitted the application for Further Studies to the Ministry of Education at the Joint-Admission Exercise. Now all I can do is wait.....wait...wai~~~~~T!!!!!

Chinese New Year

2006-01-23T21:14:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year is fast approaching. I decided to get a temporary job for some extra income. Well, actually I've been looking for a job since the end of my O Level Exams... But, no employer seems to like the idea of hiring O Level year students...

But, that was all in the past. For now, I am currently employed!! I'm selling New Year goodies for a renown private entrepreneur. News reports rumored that their turnover for the short period of January till the CNY is enough to last for half a year. Well, if it didn't, I doubt they will be still doing this business after so many years...

Sadly, the pay was "almost" horrible... Barely enough to cover my transport fees. The working hours was "disasteriffic". Plus, we had to stand for the whole time. Not to mention the stress imposed by consumers, especially during public holidays. It was mayhem.

Well, I'm only left with four more days until my contract expires and I'm gonna be out of job again. It was a good working experience for me. I'd never worked in my life until now... Now I understand the term "hard-earned money".

More importantly, I had made new friends at my workplace. That was the best part of my work... Chat during working hours when the boss is not around... Well, I guess I'm infatuated again... Can't help it man... She is so cute, so considerate, so... fun to be with... My long working hours passed like seconds when she is around. She will always have a smile on her face, revealing her clean and pure white teeth. Her long hair looked so soft and shimmering, giving her a pleasant look;tied with a ponytail, or when her hair was let loose.

My mind is filled with pleasant images of her smile;always so sweet and caring. The times I spent together with her during work will be kept in the deepest corners of my heart...Or so I hope.

Mary The New Year

2005-12-10T20:56:00.000+08:00

"Man, what a lame title,"
"Well, I certainly don't give a damn about your titles."
"Hey, you don't have to be so harsh... It took me 1.4233254 seconds to think up that title!!"

... ... . . . ... . ... .. . .. . . .. ... .. . . . ..... . . .. .. .. ... ..

Whatever did that mean?

I think I really need to consult a doctor... I'm bored outta my chair! Whatever that means!(again)

It has been nearly 30 days since my O level Exams concluded and I have successfully spent each day without doing anything meaningful. Wait, or did I...

The only thing I had accomplished was to de-stress. After intensive revision for more than 100 days, it was a must for any sane person to proceed to doing.

Unfortunately, my standards of the English Language is slipping. Mainly due to the fact that I do not converse in Standard English when given a chance to. Instead, I choose to speak to my friends in mother tongue. Or rather, Singaporean English- better known as "Singlish".

I really need to brush up on my English standards if I were to live in this World. I can't even express my opinions clearly on Internet forums because of my poor foundation.

Christmas is coming soon. Even though I'm not a christian, I enjoy the privileges of the special event as Christmas Day is labelled as a public holiday in this multi-cultural, multi-racial society. Maybe the atmosphere would not be as filled with fun and joy, nonetheless I can still enjoy the special promotions and discounts from shopping malls.

Even though my family lives together with me in an apartment, I still feel lonely and scared. Or am I lazy? Not wanting to do anything other than hiding in the comforts of my home, refusing to interact with my people. With that, my social skills have deteriorated greatly. I would often be unable to talk to people face-to-face. Unable to air my views out openly. That is the results of being a shy and unsociable person.

I escaped from reality and hid inside my room, staring at polygonal figures projected by my television screen.

This shall be, but another lonely Christmas... ...

The Eternity You Desire

2005-12-01T19:30:00.000+08:00

Recently, I bought two new sets of Japanese Animation- Kimi ga Nozomu Eien, and Gundam Seed Destiny. I love them both. I have always been a Japanese Anime lover.J. Anime is my life. I cannot imagine how life without J. Anime would be like. It frightens me just to try to imagine...

I can say that I have not yet lived a single day without at least looking at my J. Anime posters on the walls of my room. It has influenced me so much to the extent that I would definitely mutter some japanese words when I'm in random thought, without me realizing that I was speaking in Japanese. Well, not that I began taking lessons on the Japanese Language after showing tremendous interest in it. It took me about 4 to 6 years of watching Japanese Anime to begin understanding the language without the aid of subtitles. However, I'll still be facing difficulties if I were to watch a J. Anime without english subtitles.

My greatest dream was to become a J. Anime Artist. However its somehow shattered now... It feels like an impossible dream...... Back then, I used to draw the J. Anime characters every day. Practicing and practicing on my drawing techniques. Looking back, I did have some outstanding improvements. But, I'm still a have a long way to go... My dream started to "crack" when I entered Secondary School. I was never good in art. But I was able to draw quite up-to-standards J. Anime characters. I hated to relate art with the unique style of J. Anime. I refused to see the similarities in the use of many techniques to create either art(Mona Lisa's Smile) or J. Anime( Suzumiya Akane's Smile). But I eventually let go of my stubborn ideals.

However, its not like anything had changed. I still sucked at art. My art assignments often receive borderline grades. I can never forget that day when my art teacher laughed at my drawing. It was so rude of her. I felt insulted. She shared her laughter with the whole class- meaning she laughed so loud, the class could hear her voice. Sure, I wasn't the most talented art student in class, but that doesn't give her the right to laugh so openly. The insult was unbearable. So what if she was the art teacher? Weren't her supposed to TEACH? To instruct me of the ways to correct my drawing techniques? But what did she do? Laugh, placed her hand on my left shoulder so that I will naturally look back to the direction of her face and laugh at my face. Then walk away like nothing happened. Conclusion? I got a F grade for that piece of work.

What the heck was I writing... I was supposed to write about how wonderful J. Anime is.

The Eternity You desire, a translation of the title: Kimi ga Nozomu Eien. She is the most outstanding J. Anime I have ever watched. Every aspect of the anime is near perfect. I personally think that nothing in this world is perfect. But, this masterpiece might prove me wrong... The realistic story of the anime made her feel so emotional. We will feel for the characters in the anime as we relate the happenings of the anime to our lives. J. Anime lovers often become emotional after watching the show. Its just so good that I can't describe it fully with words alone. This is the only J. Anime that I felt, was better than Rurouni Kenshin OVA: Reminiscence. It truly is greater than RK OVA: Reminiscence.

Tears started to form in my eyes when I watched the final episode of Kimi ga Nozomu Eien. The ending was just so..... sad for me that I just sat at my chair, full of tears on my face, staring at the TV screen. I had no idea how long I sat there.

Days had passed and I would still get emotional after listening to the sweet ending song of the anime-Hoshizora no Waltz... The lyrics are wonderful and the singer is able to bring out the feeling of the song.

Check out AnimeNfo.com to know more about this wonderful masterpiece. Highly recommended for any true J. Anime lover that somehow failed to notice this masterpiece.

Job Hunt? How bout' Manhunt

2005-11-24T15:12:00.000+08:00

I feel so bored. The exams are over but the problems are not over yet. I need to get a job or else I'm gonna die of starvati0n. What a cruel world Mother Earth is. Why must man work every single day just to get colourful papers called "money"? To make matters worse, each country uses different type of currency. And the only difference between the notes are the pictures printed on them. Pathetic!!

Even though we all live on the surface of Earth Mother, we had to highlight all our differences and cause catastrophic disasters- DISCRIMINATION

We're all one big family known as the human race. Why can't we all live in peace and harmony? Well, the leaders of nations are somewhat trying to work on that problem. But ultimately, it is the people that is going to solve the problem. If one still possesses biased opinions on certain issues, there will always be conflict. The conflicts are only held back by the sheer amount of tolerance a person has.

It is easy to start a war. It is as easy to end a war. One corner simply needs to admit defeat and poof! The war has ended. However, the occurance of wars themselves is not the main issue. The underlying reason for these so called "wars" is through distrust and hatred between people. This brings us back to the issue of discrimination. Just think. Why do we like some people but hate other people. This cannot be justified by the amount of time spent to understand a person.

Even if we dislike someone due to first impressions, this might change after further interaction between them. We might change to like that person, or hate that person even more. We are often unable to accept the behaviour of other people- their attitudes and their mindset, their opinions. We might dislike a person because we think that his mindset of certain things might be wrong, simply because it differs from us. If such an emotion overtakes us, we might also start to dislike the ways that person does things, bringing about discrimination or biasedness.

Err.. oops, out of point... Back to the subject.

I'm lost. I don't know where to find a job... I'm totally new to this... Where should I start... I'm not good with interviews and resume writing... I have no work experience of any type... That's it.... I'm dead. (Not really dead....as in lost... heh...)

I've been surfing the web for a whole afternoon, searching for temporary jobs.... Its hopeless... I've been listening to the same song for over three hours!!! Am I mad or what...

Average track time of 4 minutes divided by 180 minutes.... Opps... its the opposite...180 divided by 4.... ooo... aaaa.a.... .....e.e.ee.........

45 times... I've listened to the same song for 45 consecutive times......

Cold Day

2005-11-22T21:22:00.000+08:00

Everything will be over. Everything will begin. Just a split second and it will happen right before our eyes.

The Examinations are over. My days of compulsory education has ended. Even though it is certain that we will all be aiming for higher studies in the vocational institutes, it is still a very lonely moment for us. It will be many months before the commencement of our higher studies.

During this period of time, we are required to make a decision. Should we fail to accomplish what we promised ourselves, we might be lost in thought for a long time. Our feelings are clouding our judgements. We tried to escape reality by ignoring what was important and continued to enclose ourselves in a world of our own.

Inside this world, happiness and sadness coexisted.We sat at one corner, trying our best to stay hidden from reality. We forced ourselves to think that the problems we faced are inevitable. We have exposed all our weaknesses in this trapped domain.

We walked towards an never-ending path, only to realize that the path has ended before we even noticed. Yet, it has never ended because we choose not to advance. Instead, we had stopped along the path and never moved onward ever again.

The path was cold. It is covered in pure white snow. But yet, our presence had stained the white oblivion

In the Middle...

2005-11-10T12:46:00.000+08:00

I'm in the middle of the GCE O' Level Exams. I'm halfway through the papers. Time is passing quickly. I am writing this entry in the middle of the day. I feel so caught up in the middle of everything... Can't make decisions between games or revision.

I'm playing games more than ever right now. Definitely not feel like revising anymore since the start of my first written exam. Its too late to do last minute revisions that will disrupt the functions of my memory. Cramming information I have learnt in the past four years of education within a single day for every subject is like, hell no way!

Even though each day passes with the same veolcity, I am all fired up being in the holiday mood already. Six more papers and everything would end.

sad

2005-10-14T14:22:00.000+08:00

I graduated today from my secondary school.

I feel so sad. Probably will last for a few days. Won't be seeing any of my classmates anymore from today onwards. Won't be able to see Hui Min ever again... Now THAT is very very heart-breaking.

Despite the fact that we never actually talked face to face, I still won't forget the times I spent to stare at her in a corner(I'm NOT Stalking OK?) She would always be in the library doing her work while I sit at the opposite table daydreaming.(Hey, whaddya expect from a useless piece of dirt like me?)

I'm already satisfied for being able to breath in the same air as her. I'm already satisfied for being able to see her. I'm already satisfied that she isn't seeing anyone at the moment.

But it pains me to think that one day she would be involved in a relationship with some other guy. It pains me to think that one day she would just disappear right before my eyes.

That day has arrived. From this day on, I no longer have to visit the library. From this day on, the air I breath in will no longer be the same.

The only thing left for me to do is to dream. For only in the dream, would I be able to talk to her openly. For only in the dream, would I be able to see her where-ever I go. For only in the dream, would things go so smoothly for me. For only in the dream, would her smile be for no one but me.

So sad...

2005-08-06T21:29:00.000+08:00

My friend wanted me to watch a movie with him. But, there's too few people. Only four people, including me. Well, not really too few people. Just that its a strange combination of 2 guys and 2 girls.

I thought that he was trying to make fun of me coz my so-called "ex-girlfriend" was going too. But, what the heck, its just to watch a movie. Surely he didn't mean to irritate me. Plus, I don't mind. Yea, really. I don't wanna be some petty guy that ignores her girlfriend juz because she broke up with him. No, never.

Its just that M.D.S.( dun wanna tell you who) wasn't feeling good. She had to move to somewhere far away. Its sad. This is the second time within a short period of time. She told me about how wonderful it was to be able to stare outside her window, looking at her friends playing basketball. Her favourite pastime of playing basketball was altered. There wasn't any basketball courts nearby... I can quite understand the feeling of her not being able to do something she enjoys.

..........................
(DELETED)
..........................
(DELETED)
..........................
She is far more mature than many that are of her age. It makes me feel somewhat, ashamed. All I did during my lifespan of sixteen years was studying and playing. To be showered with cash that I didn't even need.(strictly speaking). I felt like I was leeching everything that belonged to the two people that brought me to this world. I owe them too much.

I am so fortunate. to have someone that cares so much for me. My mother was the only person I could depend on.

Err... back to the topic.

Anywayz, M.D.S. said she couldn't join us to the movie trip. So, I don't feel like going anymore.

Note: Its contains my feelings and thoughts about events revolving around me. I dun wanna see any jerk-head or Asshole or faggot start talking about what I wrote. Or worse, disturb my friends.

Starting to regret inserting so much confidential information. This will be the last entry with so many detailed information about people and places. The internet is such an evil place. It gives me the chills.

Note 2: Deleted some information

Interesting~~~~

2005-08-03T22:25:00.000+08:00

Ended relationship with my girlfriend.

Good News or Bad News

2005-07-25T17:45:00.000+08:00

Well, I've had it again... Hmm... maybe I shouldn't use the word "again" because its actually been some time(about a month or so? maybe longer..) since I infatuated again.

Well, its no big deal. Cause' I ain't gonna do anything about it anyway. If I took action to every female that I was infatuated to.....nah, don't wanna think about the consequences.. Oh ya, I'll probably be labelled as a....a... hmm... whats the correct term to use... Probably just some guy that falls in love easily? Nah, I'll just use the term "Hua Xin". Its in chinese. A direct translation would be "flower-hearted"(if you dunno, just ask your chinese friends)

It ain't such a bad thing. Coz' infatuation occurs only because I'm an adolescent. I'm still growing up. The hormones are trying to sort things out properly.( maybe...)

I mean, it'll eventually go away when I age. So, whats the point of resisting? Might as well enjoy what I'm experiencing. Its a unique feeling that only I can understand. "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder". Only I would know( or dunno) why I suddenly feel for that person. It is my own personal unique experience. No other person can understand why I'm infatuated to so and so.

I mean, even if I told someone else that I like "insert name", he/she will not be able to understand why. Let alone feel how I feel.

Anyway, for those(I wonder if anyone even bothers to know) who are interested to my latest infatuatee(I wonder if there is such a word), I'm not gonna tell you directly(if there is any). It would be disrespectful to her.(lol, dunno about that) Ya, I mean it would be disrespectful to type out her name on the internet.

All you need to know is that she is from the same class as me. And, she and I aren't really considered close friends.

(I define friends as someone that I would talk to normally. And I'm comfortable with. Plus, they talk to me often too. The content of our conversations are more often than not, trash. Talk trash in class. Or, in the case of my best friend, talk about the past events and other people) A better definition would be typed if I had the free time to think of one.

fin~

Angel REboRN

2005-07-12T20:01:00.000+08:00

"I gotta write this out right now....... To remind me of that person....."

This is big time! I haven't even started on scaling my mountainous homework. But I have to write this out now!! She looked so perfect.....so filled with wisdom but yet still so.....awww too bad I can't describe it clearly to you.(Gotta ask Tolkein if you want vivid descriptions)

Anywayz..on with the event.

Today was yet another heavy day... Lotsa homework in addition to the remediation classes. When school was finally over, meaning I can actually proceed home, I attempted to release stress by playing Ragnarok Online.( Lvl 90 Champion)

I actually wanted to do my homework after one hour or so of gameplay. But, my family decided to have dinner outside. After picking up my brother at Selarang Camp, we drove over to the destination. Some famous stall that sells chicken rice.

Oh No.... It was about 6.30pm when we reached the stall, to only notice that the shutters were closed.... Bad luck.... I'm getting hungry...

Nonetheless, we opted to eat at Toa Payoh. The food there are cheap and yet delicious. The air of anticipation was rising as we drove into the carpark. However, the atmosphere was replaced with the "ouch" mood.(don't understand? nevermind. just watch more anime)

Heck... Two trips to two closed stalls. What does it mean? Surely, this strange happening means something.

Well, we headed back to Tampines to complete our unfinished meal...

The place:Hawker Centre somewhere in Tampines Street 82
The time: about 7pm
The IcoN: Super ChIo Bu Spotted.

When I arrived at the hawker centre, I was mesmerized by the beauty of a certain young lady. She possessed all the values that my "Angel" had.. Beautiful, cute, charming, pretty. Whats more, she look so wise. Like a sage, well-learned and well-versed. She has a calm composure and a nice figure too. Perfect in every sense. Her voice is as rare as a Siren, mystical and sweet. Her face is so cute. Her hairstyle is neither old-fashioned nor the newest trend. Complete with a pair of glasses made her look both cute and well-learned. My level of English language just can't fully describe such a perfect female. I am......I am.....so ashamed of my lack of knowledge to compile even the simplest form of writing. No other life form could understand how I feel. I can definitely say that she is far superior that what was, my "Perfect Angel".

Nothing Much Recently...

2005-07-06T19:14:00.000+08:00

These few weeks have been boring... I find the passing days slow and boring... But yet I feel that time is running out... What I'm trying to say is... I'm bored with the day-to-day routine.. I feel that I don't have enough time to do things I like...

Plus, I'm having mood swings... Coz' of a series of unfortunate events... My mind is crumbling slowly as the clock ticks. Even though many things are happening around me, things are changing as I type... But I refuse to face the fact that I began to lag behind and remained in my world of "sadness". Unwilling to move on...

....I...must........but... I..don't....wa..wa.n.t... to...

I don't really know what to type...what to convey... But coz my best friend wanted me to update my blog.... then no choice lor... Must let her have something to read during free time.

So sianzz... Starting from this week, there would be remediation classes every day... I can't find enough time to complete my homework... Plus, after returning from school, I'm usually sweaty and tired.... Definitely not in the mood to complete my tasks...

Really don't know what to write about arr!!... end.

Its over..

2005-06-30T20:14:00.000+08:00

Arrghh... I took my Chinese O levels today... It was....neither too hard nor too easy.. But, I'm still not confident with getting a D.... D, you know? As in "D" for "Distinction".

However, If I got a Distinction mark, I might consider re-taking the written papers if I didn't do so well... Alot of probabilities... Haiz...

Today, Alvin lent me Naruto box 2. Well, its a great anime if you ask me. But I dunno why the people that live in the Western side of the World calling it a replica of Dragon Ball Z... I mean, what's the similarities!? Heck none except they are both Japanese Animation that involves fighting...

The people on the western side of the World definitely have something wrong with their mindset... IF Naruto is a replica of DBZ, then I would not be wrong to say that Gungrave and all other Japanese animes out there are replicas of DBZ..Yeah, they're all Japanese Animes. Just that Gungrave is about Gun fights instead of close combat and beam-shooting... And chobits would be a replica of DBZ except that the fighting are replaced with computers and love stories. Last Exile would be a replica of DBZ expcept that the close combat fighting is replaced with a full-scale war...

Get what I mean...sometimes I just can't understand them western people, as in people living in the west. As in, the people that thinks that America is the only continent on Earth. Don't get what I mean? Go to gamefaqs forums and you'll find out.

Pathetic.. they can't even figure out the simplest things...Simply, purely pathetic...

Bah, gonna watch Naruto.

Ending with a exclamation mark!!(two exclamation marks)

News news news

2005-06-09T22:52:00.000+08:00

This morning was pretty rewarding. I found a trailer of the game, Fatal Frame 3!!! Its a scary game!! So scary that I made it even scarier for my mind by telling myself its a damn scary game...lol...

Nonetheless, it the Rei Series(Rei is the Japanese Title) is definitely great. She was the first game to introduce a new gameplay system. You only have an old camera at your disposal.. nothing more...

I wanna stress on the fact that The Project Zero Team was the first to merge the idea of camera and horror game together. In fact, they were the first to introduce the camera and "ghost" idea. Not some dumb 3rd rate chinese movie that was so bad, that it hit rock bottom.

After stressing on the originality of the idea, I wanna praise the Team for the wonderful job they did for the first 2 games. Which is why, there would be a 3rd game to the sequel.

The Rei Series would definitely send a... nah, millions of chills down your spine. You can check out the gamers' review at gamefaqs(if you are a real gamer, you'd know what website it is and how to find reviews for it.) Please note that you can ignore the reviews made by a person with the name "Blade Knighthood". Coz' he is a game-slammer. His reviews are full of his negative opinions. It contains nothing but discrimatory opinions which purpose is to discourage gamers from the Rei Series.

I mean hey, if he hates the game so much, why'd he even bother trying out Fatal Frame 2?? Let alone trying to be the odd one out by giving lousy and non-helpful reviews.

Anywayz, if you wana know more about the game, go find out yourself. Back to my recount.

Nothing much happened then. I went to a shopping mall with my mother. Didn't buy anything. They only sell clothes there...I happen to be uninterested with clothes.

After that however, We made an annual visit to the wonderful bookstore!! My mother checked out her song-book-stuff while I combed the shelves for manga tutorials!! How to Draw Manga books are good, but too expensive...they cost about $25 singapore dollars after the special discounted price.... not including shipping charges...I'll have to make do with the cheaper chinese ones...Some tutorials are directly translated from HTDM tutorials. I bought about $50 worth of tutorial books.Plus, I bought a set of Tarot(spelling?) cards :)

I'm attracted by the countless myths and legends of the power of the cards...Plus, there is a cute japanese anime version!!! So interesting... gonna start mastering the secrets of tarot!! lol....

Ending with a fullstop.

2nd Day In Taiwan

2005-06-07T20:20:00.000+08:00

Today, I was finally able to chat with my best friend. After such a long and torturous night.. phew...

All thanks to my mother postponing the trip to hsing chuang to wednesday. Good things didn't stop there!! After I had lunch, I went to "Nick's Castle", the One and Only toy store. Or should I say, the most resourceful toy store in Taipei. Er... Thats the only store I know...

I visit that "castle" annually. They always had a variety of Japanese anime goods in stock. First thing I did there was to look for the comic "Rave". My friend, Bai Kun, wanted me to purchase it for him. But, too bad. I couldn't find it.

Next, I combed through the mountains of anime figurines. I saw Fullmetal Alchemist figures. The exact ones that was to be the prize for the lucky draw in Singapore. You know, the channel 56 lucky draw.

Anywayz, here comes the spotlight!! Back in one corner... I....s...saw.... TTTTIIFAAAAA!!!! Thats right! Tifa Lockhart from Final Fantasy VII. Oh, along with Squall, Cloud and Sephiroth. Even though I long to buy them all.... but its too expensive....

Cloud and Sephiroth, each costs NT$4000++ ...Thats about $200 singapore dollars.... Anywayz, I prefer Tifa over the two guys. Also, she is much less expensive.(don't want to use the word "cheap") Only NT$3000.. Thats about....do your own calculations man!! Don' always rely on others!! lol...

Anywayz, I bought the gorgeous angel and returned home.

Second part of the story!!

I went to Shilin night market in the evening. Shopping Spree!! Not a very rewarding trip this year though.... only bought twelve kingdom and Kiddy Grade..( at a much lower price than in singapore of course!!)

Next, I went to the poster shop that,as always, I visited annually. Kin Lung wanted me to help him look out for Xu Wei Lun's posters. But, too baaaadd.. Found nothing. There's a lotta Cyndi's posters though :) soo cuuute!! I also saw Michelle&Vickie's posters. Too bad... I don't have anymore empty wall to put them up....

Still, I bought three posters- Fruit Basket, Ah! My Goddess and Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children.

Thats about all that I've bought....oh wait... almost forgot I bought some presents for my best friend too :) Don't wanna elaborate anymore..

First day in Taiwan...

2005-06-06T21:59:00.000+08:00

Sianzz.. I had to wake up at 5 am in the morning.. So sleepy...Feel so depressed... My best friend wasn't there for me.. No replies, no nothing....Instead, Alvin remembered that I'm travelling today and actually took the effort to wish me a safe trip. How caring... Unlike my best friend... I called her but she said she was too tired.. K, fine. I tried to contact her again the next day but she didn't reply...

Fine, I boarded the plane and spent the whole time listening to my discman. Oh, the food they served was great!! I simply love the inflight food and beverages. Been' eating them since I was three months old, remember? If not, then you just have not been paying attention to what I'm writing.

This is the first time I "returned" to Taiwan so "unwillingly". But, I felt so good when I am finally able to taste the delicacies only found in Taiwan. My All-Time Favourite is "Lor Ba Peng". Translation? Go find yourself. Its so common in Taiwan but only in Taiwan....

Blah blah blah... How I wish I could go shopping right away for my annual purchase of Japanese Anime. Oh, and not forgetting the wonderful J. Animes airing on the many channels. Just finished watching G.T.O.

So enjoyable. I also watched Naruto in the evening. Noo Sakura-chan cut her hair....

Anywayz, I'm still waiting for my best friend to go online... By the look of things, its impossible for her to be online....I'm juz grateful that there is internet connection here in my house. In addition, the internet speed is incomparable!! So fast..Faster than my starhub broadband 60K kbps...This is madness.. lol...

So sad, my best friend would most probably be able to go online tomorrow but too bad...I'm visiting my relatives in Hsin Chuang... Sad, sad... I'm so sad... lol, can't remember other adjectives for "sad" at the moment...

Depression?

2005-06-05T23:53:00.000+08:00

Well well, in a few hours' time I'll be on a flight to Taiwan. Even though Taiwan is the country that I am born in, I don't feel really attached to her. Instead, I simply Loo0oOve Singapore. Its because I've been living in Singapore ever since I was 3 months old!!

Well, back then I used to say horrible things about Singapore. Itz becoz I was still a kid, and I couldn't make a reasonable comparison between the two countries. But now, things are different. I choose Singapore over Taiwan. Its like "duh" to some people since Singapore is a more advanced country and so on...

But hey, thats one of the factors. Singapore is so "liveable". Its so comfortable to live in Singapore. Plus, the difference in crime rate is so huge... There is always something bad happening in Taiwan. Whereas in Singapore, it seemed so much more peaceful.In my opinion, Singaporeans have a more logical thinking. They won't do something outta the blue. For example, they won't suddenly think about robbing a bank when taking a walk.

A better illustration would be the recent incident in Taiwan where a man put poison in a brand of drinks. At first, he just wanted to threaten the company for money. But, his plans backfired when someone actually died drinking one of the poisoned drinks. The rest is history-the police worked "very hard" and finally caught the culprit.

See the difference? Well, a more direct example would be the presidential elections in Taiwan. Chen VS Lian Chan. The outcome? The country was split into 2 groups. Riots, strikes etc.

It would never happen in Singapore. we aren't as extreme as the taiwanese.(even though I'm still one..) We always look on the bright side of things. "Our group lost the election? Fine, admit defeat." Unlike "some people" that only SAY that they admit defeat, but still caused all sorts of trouble to the Government.

Thats why I love Singapore. Its always so peaceful as compared to countries like Taiwan. No natural disasters and so on. Plus, she is as developed as USA if you want my opinion. Anywayz.. gonna retire for the night soon... Gotta wake up at 5.00am.... Stupid Yi Wen.. You reading!! Today so bored wanted to chat wif you then U sae what BerI Tired want to rest... So sad.....haiz....dunno my house in Taiwan got internet connection or not....cannot talk to u for 10 days leh!! DiDn't evEn Say Go0DbYe.... :(

P.S. Its not that I'm saying there is no crime in Singapore. But just that there is a huge gap between the two countries.

P.S.2: Yi Wen, you better got read my blog hor!! if Not I Will FeEl MoRE SaDD!!!

Bitch...

2005-06-01T20:21:00.000+08:00

Well well, today I realized that the human race love to create meaningless names to call each other whenever they feel irritated, annoyed, furiated etc.

But hey, whats the rationale*(spelling?) of using names to insult someone that one disapproves of? The Human race is just too emotional. Their feelings are easily influenced. One possesses a variety of feelings that can be expressed through their facial expression, physical language, or verbally. One can be feeling extremely happy or tremendously upset in a split second's time.

More than 80% of the human race often express their emotions verbally. Plus, over 90% of the people would input vulgarities in their speech when they are angered.

"BITCH!", "SLUT!" are some of the cliche'd words used when expressing anger and disagreement towards another person. However, one often fail to realize that using such explicit language in their speech, would often erupt into even more violent confrontations that might result in a bloody end. One would often be unable to take insults. The direct cause is the lack of self-discipline, which could be easily obtained through a clear mind via meditation.

More often than not, people use the explicit language only to insult the person rather than really using it with the actual definition of the word or phrase. Strangely, one feel insulted not because of the actual definition of the insult used, rather the fact that a vulgarity is used.

In short, you feel insulted because he said "fuck you". You know that the phrase didn't imply that he wanted to be sexually involved with you, whereas, you are angered because he used a vulgarity. All this would take place in a split second. Thus, only your sub-conscious knows what is going on and would react according to the mode reaction.

It is all about the rights of a person. One would feel insulted because one feels that thou has no right to pass such a remark. "You have no right to insult me" that would probably be the first thing that might come to your mind sub-consciously. Thus, the sub-conscious mind has a very sensitive system. To train it so that one is more tolerant, meditation is required.

Why did I name this entry "bitch"? Its just because I have a female councillor in my class and I hate her holding a higher position than me in the Mid Year exams. Yeah yeah, I call her "bitch!!" Thats all. I thought this entry would be too short if I only wrote this portion.....

Addition: Yea, there is another that I call "bitch" She was THE ONE. I was infatuated to her for 3 years. Yeah yeah....complications....complications...

In short, she ignores me by having me ignore her so she wouldn't be held responsible for my broken heart... bitch..GO ON! Hate AlL ThE GUyZZzz

OkOk, the truth, the truth...I am simply annoyed by the comment she made as her MSN nickname..one..last...bitch!!... done.

Set backs, set backs and more set backs...

2005-05-26T22:33:00.000+08:00

What is happening to me...Luck has definitely abandoned me. I feel so vexed, pathetic and agitated at the same time. But, its just small amounts of them. As a half-capricorn, I am destined to greatness. I am calm and confident. Therefore, nothing can stand in my way. Meditation would definitely prove to be useful in sorting out my mixed feelings.

From today's experience, I realized that I should never trust magazines to provide me with information concerning Love via horoscopes. They are 100% obsolete and useless. The "ineffectivity" of magazines especially, can provide the exact opposite of what would happen to you. In case you readers out there can't understand, there would be a direct irony between what was written and what would happen.

There I was, trying to relieve my pain and misery that has befallen me recently by looking for a new "target". Everything was fine. Flowing smoothly like water down a stream. However, there would always be a beaver trying to block the riverflow by constructing a dam.

Here comes the trouble. Not really something that I cannot overcome, but I have my principles to follow. And that would be "Never target attached girls". My new target just so happened to fall in that ONE category that I simply cannot touch. Just as I was beginning to plan my Five-Year-Plan, intel reported that my target was taken.

TAKEN!! I simply can't believe it... Well, I had to abort mission. Thats too bad for me. Looking on the bright side, at least I haven't approached her yet. That saved the embarassment. Tough luck, tough love.

Gonna have a hard time looking for a new target again...*sigh*

Stressed Up?

2005-05-24T18:00:00.000+08:00

Aww, the damn freaking Mid Year Exams was finally over. But not to worry, coz' there is still the Mother Tongue O Levels. Great... yeah right...

I'm soo weak with my chinese language!! I can't believe that I'm actually sitting for the exam in one week's time... Totally unprepared.

I tried to revise my chinese a little bit this afternoon. But, it wasn't as desirable coz' nothing went into my head. Whats more ironic is that I'm in the band 1 chinese class... Just think, what kind of standards our batch are to place me into a band 1 class.... Purely Pathetic.

I wonder why learning chinese is soo much harder than other languages... Maybe becoz I'm not really interested in it.. There's just too many characters to memorize.... Curse that person than invented the chinese characters!!!

I'll take that back. Its not nice to curse a dead man... At least thats what I think.. You'd never know where a dead man goes.. and I'm not ready to find out yet. There was this actually nice show that was aired on Discovery Channel yesterday that was cool. It was about ninjas and how they suddenly disappeared.. Well, not really how they disappeared.. just about their techniques and why people thought that ninjas were deadly..

I'm not gonna elaborate on it anymore. As a matter of fact, I'm closing this entry. Yay!
...I wonder if this is why I'm not good in English either... writing all this in crappy english...

Next Step

2005-05-21T19:36:00.000+08:00

*Phew* Finally got out of that vicious infatuation cycle... That was what I wanted to say but, it seems I still need time to forget about her. Aww, so sad..

Anywayz, I'm glad this incident did not have such a great impact on my examinations. Still managed to maintain my good academic results.

Its been a pretty boring day.. I did nothing but play games and watch television. I wanted to head down to Mega Multimedia to buy Tales of Symphonia for my PS2. But, I changed my mind coz' its just too damn expensive man!! Its well over a hundred dollars! I mean for a game, just forget about it man! No matter how hard the companies tried to generate the ultimate game plot, the game designs, the characters, its just too damn expensive!! I'd had to starve a whole month just to purchase that game.

I could have got a pirated copy but, the quality is soo bad. The disc only lasts me a few days before it "mysteriously" refuses to be read by my precious five-year-old PS2. I spent $820 just for the PS2 man! And another $100 for a newer mod chip which can't even work well!!

Life sucks. Or should I say piracy sucks. And the employees working at pirate shops sucks as well. But that doesn't mean that Gaming shops that sell original games are great. They are making well over 400% profit per copy of game sold man! Damn bloody leechers!

Great! Now I forgot why I even named this entry "Next Step"....

Realize

2005-05-18T13:45:00.000+08:00

From this moment, from this day, I finally realize that we are not fated to be together. We are different in so many ways that it nearly torn my heart apart when I finally realized. Why was I so ignorant, so unsensitive about the surrounding!?

I realized that this cannot go on. We are but people of different worlds. Our lifestyles are but too incomparable. To the fullest extent that no minor similarities would be enough to pull us together... I knew it all along, I knew that we were not meant to be together. And the fact that we had never started made it even clearer.

I know that deep down inside, I have no true feelings towards you. I know that deep down in my heart, I only admire you as a person. You are the most beautiful and wonderful person that I have ever laid my eyes on. I would often be mesmerized by your beauty that I mistook it as true love.

Three and a half years of infatuation is enough. I must no longer be charmed by your angelic looks. You were the feast of my eyes. It pains me dearly to depart and move on with life as usual. Like nothing have happened before. I know that shyness is just an excuse to make myself feel better about not doing anything. I know that I was the one to blame for not even trying. But, it has proved too much of a task for me to handle. I am overwhelmed by the immense aura emitted by you.

All this time, you had been with me. You had been within my reach. That was what I thought. But I failed to realize what you were doing all along. I failed to understand you first before I tried to make my move.

However, it is all right now. I realized, even if it pains me dearly to say, I realized that we are not mean to be. Our great differences had outweighed our similarities. It was time that I let you go. Even though you might not have realized my presence and my feelings towards you all these time, I will let you go.

To my dearest and dearest school mate, Poh Hui Min.

Yours Truely and Sincerely
M.C. Chang

Bad Things about Infatuation

2005-05-15T20:20:00.000+08:00

Arrgh! I can't stand it anymore... All this infatuation is making me crazy...What is with these mixed feelings anyway!!

"How I long to have a girlfriend" This thought is getting me crazy here... All those gorgeous gals in my class have worsened my situation.. I wonder if I can take it anymore...

When can I be relieved of this misery? What can I do to make me feel better? Nothing is helping... Matters are made worst when I'm the "shy-guy" type of person... What tragedy has befallen onto me!?

(insert name), Oh my Dearest (insert name), how can my words reach your ears... I long to be with you. But deep down inside, I cannot define this feeling. Whether if it is true love or just infatuation..

Whatever the case, I shall continue to express my feelings to you secretly. Until I understand my true feelings towards you. Until Then, please pray that my feelings towards you are true. I wish you could understand.

[This is supposed to be my own online diary or something eh, good I'll post my feelings here : )]

Testing

2005-05-01T00:45:00.000+08:00

My First Post. Just trying to see how it works